Content warning: This article contains mentions of domestic abuse and murder.
The case of Gabby Petito is a case entirely too familiar. It’s the type of case we see every single day — we see it when our friends’ boyfriends complain about buying her flowers, we see it when our parents fight, and we see it when we sit next to a couple entirely on their phones in a restaurant. It’s the same old, overplayed, and simultaneously soul-crushing realization that the sweetest women seem to always find themselves with the vilest of men.
After I found myself with a particularly cruel partner, people said things like, “You should’ve known better” or “Well, yeah, It’s Matthew.” It was so confusing how I was being blamed for being manipulated into thinking the man I was dating was different from who he was. Then, I came across a post that put everything into perspective: “There are sharks in the water.”
Women aren’t stupid — none of the 25% of women who have suffered severe physical abuse at the hands of a partner intentionally entered into a relationship with someone they believed would hurt them. These men put on a disguise. They hunt.
That’s what makes Petito’s case hit so close to home. Maybe it’s because we’ve been allowed to glimpse into who she was through her YouTube vlogs. Perhaps it’s because seeing her break down in the back of a cop car, experiencing a blatant panic attack after just being hit by her boyfriend, yet still choosing to protect him from police at the cost of her criminal innocence hit a nerve.
It’s a nerve that, unfortunately, is incredibly relatable. Brian Laundrie’s cruelty, not only the murder of Petito but every action leading up to it, is an incomprehensible evil. From joking around with police while she’s crying so hard her vision is blurred to Venmo-ing himself $700 from her account after he murdered her.
Still, she blamed herself for everything. This 22-year-old woman — still just a little girl — was so full of love and selflessness that she truly believed she was to blame when things went awry. Her light was so bright it blinded her. Fortunately, her purity transcends death. It’s so easy to see just how beautiful her soul is.
Petito’s case connects every woman who has ever cried over who they thought was the love of their life, just thinking, “Why does he do this if he loves me?” It connects every woman who has ever broken down on their bathroom floor, overwhelmingly in love with someone who seems destined to hurt them.
To Gabby Petito and every other woman who has experienced any form of abuse: I am so, so sorry. May your light and strength be a testament to the human experience, and may Gabby Petito rest in peace.