As girls, we grew up constantly fed the notion that every story ends in love. Disney classics set a completely unrealistic idea of how easy finding the perfect guy is (like should I be waiting in a castle somewhere singing to animals?) so since we missed our pumpkin carriage somewhere along the way, we try our best to make our own modern day love story. It’s innovative, really, since our love stories aren’t written for us we’re writing our own; but sometimes we take it too far. We rationalize every negative sign into oblivion and overanalyze the most understated compliments into wedding vows.
Texting potential Prince Charming can be emotionally exhausting, so we call in our best friend support system to over analyze alongside us and let’s just say things escalate quickly.
When things are positive, assumptions end in love and a fairytale wedding.
“OMG he said ‘you would’ that like means he knows me…and loves me”
“He casually referred to his dad as Papa H! That means he puts me on a personal level when it comes to his family… And he loves me.”
“He’s at dinner and he replied within two minutes… He loves me.”
“He asked my opinion on an outfit.. Probably the outfit he’ll PROPOSE in!” (They’re not even dating at this point, but we encourage the notion anyways.)
“He just intentionally started a new conversation after I sent that one word conversation ender! HE. LOVES. ME.”
“We are currently snapchatting AND texting. Safe to say he loves me.”
When things are unclear, we question EVERYTHING.
“He gave me his number and told me to text him sometime… Does sometime mean in five minutes? Five hours? Five days?!”
“Okay he just took an hour and 32 minutes to respond. How long do I wait to not look desperate? An hour and 33?”
“He opened my snapchat and hasn’t replied. It’s been three minutes. Was that a bad angle?”
“Does his emoji combination here seem to you like flirty or just friendly? Like does he want to marry me or no?”
“It’s been 43 minutes and he hasn’t replied. He either hates me or he died there is no other option.”
Some call it crazy; I call it the female solution to coping with the fact that we can’t just have the first guy we meet be a perfect prince who automatically loves us and asks us to ride off into the sunset on horseback.