Single people’s worst enemy is back, and this year it was on a Saturday. Yes, I’m talking about Valentine’s Day. There is no sugarcoating being single on a holiday like Valentine’s Day if you’re purely focused on thinking about what you don’t have. However, there are other ways to celebrate the holiday so you don’t feel left out, and honestly, you shouldn’t feel left out.
My role as the token single friend has been practically cemented since my late start to puberty. While all my friends were getting boyfriends in middle school, I was confused as to why no one stepped up and showed that kind of interest in me. When they did, it was usually in the form of bullying, causing me to question my self-worth. The lack of romantic interest in me at such a young age left me at an impasse in terms of dating. I had no idea how to do it or even make it seem like I wanted to date. So, I became my friend’s relationship advice dispensary — ironic, considering I had never officially been in a relationship — and got to watch from the sidelines.
The stories I could tell about unusual things my friends have experienced are crazy, but hey, that’s life. I have seen so many relationships crash and burn that it’s hard to keep track anymore. Finding love is hard in this world. If you have it, you’re lucky. Love can be a beast to deal with.
To this day, I can say I’ve never officially been in a relationship nor had a Valentine. Besides that, it was always interesting to see all the dynamics in my friends’ relationships play out while also wondering what it was like to have that kind of tie to another person.
But why talk about all of this? I promise I’m going to make a point.
Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be celebrated with a special someone you’re in a relationship with. I’ve had many good experiences over the years, celebrating my friendships alone. This year, I got myself a good dinner and took myself to see the new Wuthering Heights movie at Disney Springs.
Sitting at home making myself miserable doesn’t do much for me. For most of the holiday, I usually don’t go on socials either. Sure, I wear pink and try to be nice about the obvious displays of affection everywhere, but as someone who doesn’t like loud gestures, I kind of just learned to tune it out.
My advice for future single Valentine’s Days is to go out with your girls, host a party, read a book, practice self-love, or volunteer. It’s important not to feel sorry for yourself. Surround yourself with people who value you and see you as someone who deserves unconditional love. That isn’t something I say just about Valentine’s Day; it’s something to care about year-round.
I value spending more time with my friends or myself than I would a man on a day like this anyway. Learning how to be alone and be okay with that is something I struggled with for many years. Once I accepted that being single was going to be my status for a while, I didn’t let it stop me.
I’m no bombshell, I don’t have an endless line of suitors, and people don’t go out of their way to do me favors, but I do a lot of things that some people would be too afraid to do alone: concerts, the club, traveling. The list goes on. This holiday also serves as a reminder for me that my independence fuels who I am.
I want to leave you with the knowledge that, as a single person, your self-worth should not be tied to whether or not you are in a relationship. A holiday that is meant to celebrate love should not be a reason for you to get sad. Next year, maybe my perception of the matter will change, but in the meantime, you’ll catch me at the movies by myself.