Let me ask you a question: how many times have you hesitated to talk about something you love because you were afraid of what people might think of you? As a girl who grew up playing video games and listening to “emo” music, I’ve often fallen victim to the fear that people would see my interests as “cringe.”
In the past few years, we have equated the crime of someone openly caring about something they like with being deserving of a death sentence. At some point, cringe shifted from an awkward feeling to being a targeted attack used to condemn someone for having the audacity to like something that you don’t.
We have fallen into this trap of needing to hide our passions and individuality for fear of being shamed and disliked. The fear of being rejected by peers has grown exponentially since we became chronically online, creating a culture where people only engage with what is currently popular for fear of ridicule.
As a girl who loves weird shows, musical theatre, and YouTube, I have experienced my fair share of being made fun of for my interests. My early teenage years were filled with googling popular movies and shows I didn’t care about, so I’d have something to talk about at school. I pushed down my passion for my favorite things in fear of being made fun of for being cringe.
But recently, I had a revelation. It truly does not matter if someone thinks you are cringe. If something brings you joy, it’s worth talking about and relishing in. Trying to keep up with what’s trendy instead of enjoying your own passions and interests is a trap that will stop you from enjoying your life.
cringe is a scam
Something I realized recently is that not being “cringe” has always been a moving goalpost. The rules as to what is acceptable to enjoy publicly have always changed, with everything from Glee to Five Nights at Freddy’s going through multiple phases of being cringe and cool.
I used to listen to BTS growing up and got really into it around middle school. As any Army knows, though, enjoying their music in 2019 was just about the most mortifying thing you could admit to, and after letting it slip that I was listening to “Fake Love”, I got made fun of and called cringe. Now, K-pop and BTS have reached mainstream status, and it’s cool to walk around with your ARIRANG hoodie and photocard displayed proudly.
And the truth is, it’ll probably be “cringy” to like it again in two months. People will claim that they liked it ironically, and it’ll be weird once again.
Nothing will ever be consistently societally acceptable to enjoy. Cringe culture itself is a revolving door that will eventually fold in on itself. Calling people cringe will eventually become embarrassing too, and it will resurface again under a different name.
the crime of being a woman with interests
As a girl, you are scrutinized for having any personal interests.
It’s no secret that women are condemned for outwardly enjoying anything, and it feels like there is nothing that we can be interested in without facing some backlash. It’s a universal female experience to be grilled with the most obscure questions when talking to a man about something they also enjoy. If you cannot answer that weirdly specific question? Well, then you’re performative.
Even women enjoying mainstream interests like sports and music are still deemed “cringe”. If they are too “manly” or obscure, then you’re a pick-me and faking it for attention. If they’re too feminine and popular, then it’s just cringe and stereotypical.
Even cringe culture itself has a basis in misogyny. It isn’t just a way to make fun of people; it’s a way to keep them in line. It shames people for being too loud, too passionate, and too visible, traits largely only criticized in women. It rewards following trends and societal norms that are rooted in misogyny, punishing women for standing out and having the autonomy to enjoy something that wasn’t pre-selected for them based on popularity.
It does not matter what you like; someone will always have something to say. So you might as well do what you enjoy. Talk about that musical you love, wear that T-shirt with the game you like, and live your life how you want to. Will someone still think you’re cringe? Probably. But the beautiful thing is that it has no bearing on your life.
It’s far weirder to criticize someone for having interests than to just enjoy yourself in the only life you have. If being yourself and reveling in your individuality is embarrassing to others, then let it be. Nothing is cringey and embarrassing unless you deem it to be. It’s so much more freeing to simply enjoy yourself than to constantly try to please everyone else.
So what if someone thinks you are cringey? To be cringe is to be free.