Unfortunately, the horror stories about living with your best friend are (sometimes) true, but so are the stories about total strangers growing close just by living together. If you’re as sappy and sentimental about friendships as I am, you probably remember the first time your favorite random roommate asked you to hang out socially.
Additionally, if you’ve experienced the canon event of living with your best friend only for it to end up sour, you know just how delicate those shared-space relationships can be. Now, more than halfway through one of my final semesters at UCF, I’ve been reflecting on the relationships that shaped my experience.
Living with a best friend
I lived about five feet away from my high school best friend during my freshman year in the Apollo dormitory. At first, it felt like a safety net. I had someone to travel home with during days off, someone to share memories with, and someone who knew how I functioned.
As fall turned into spring, our relationship became strained. We would pick fights over minor issues and keep secrets from each other, which turned into days of complete, prolonged silence. Eventually, we stopped communicating and started avoiding each other.
As April rolled around, my carefully decorated Apollo room didn’t feel like my home away from home anymore. It became a silent space of ex-best-friendship. In retrospect, the fights had no meaning or substance. However, it taught me that living with someone is a completely different test of a relationship than just being friends.
If you are considering or currently living with a hometown friend, I think the most important aspect of maintaining a successful relationship is understanding that you’re both entitled to grow as your environment and lifestyle change. As basic as it sounds, showing empathy and accepting less-than-perfection from your roommate/best friend goes an incredibly long way.
Becoming Friends with my roommate
As I finished my freshman year in a constant game of quiet with the girl I shared a room with, I was able to develop a relationship with my other two roommates. What started as an Instagram DM about my post on a UCF introduction page has turned into almost two years of solid friendship.
As I’ve continued to live with one of my freshman-year roommates, we’ve developed inside jokes, shared activities, and common interests. While she is one of my closest friends, living together has fostered a different kind of relationship.
It could be that I’ve matured substantially by now, but my roommate and I share a mutual understanding of respect, conflict resolution, and boundaries. More than that, it showed us what establishing those elements early in our friendship has created.
Final Thoughts
Your first experiences living with others as an adult are formative. The people you share a space with can shape your daily life in ways you don’t always expect. While living with your best friend can be a dream, it requires flexibility, communication, and a willingness to adapt as you both grow.
On the other hand, becoming friends with your roommate can be just as meaningful. Without the pressure of an existing relationship, you have space to set boundaries from the jump. While I’ve experienced both, I think any shared-space relationship can be extremely beneficial if handled harmoniously.