You all know what a new semester on campus means, don’t you? New eye candy!
True to form, only a week into the semester and you meet a tall, dark, and handsome stud! You chat religiously for a day or two until he asks to take you to the best restaurant in all of Orlando. Without hesitation you say “yes please!”…Stop me any time this sounds familiar…You have a wonderful night chatting about your big girl dreams, his favorite sports teams, and all the music you have in common. He invites you back to his place to watch a movie [he insists just a movie] so you of course, again, say “yes!”…Have you heard this story before?…You walk your poised, elegant self up to his apartment, awkwardly say hi to his roommates, and proceed to his room where his idea of a “movie” is trying to see how quickly he can get your clothes off. You realize this isn’t what you want [or thought he wanted] so you quickly, yet politely, end the night. He tells you he understands as he walks you out, kisses you gently goodnight, and reassures you that he will call you tomorrow…Happened to you last weekend?…You drive away thinking “proud of me” and go to bed with a smile.
A day goes by, and no word from him. A day turns into three days. Three days turns into a week. As you start to get the hint, you think to yourself, “What if I slept with him?” That’s the million dollar question, ladies! What if he did get what he wanted? One of two things would happen: He would still be ignoring you, causing you to feel a trillion times worse the next day, OR he would still be calling you [and probably not for a second romantic dinner].
Do all men want their women promiscuous and unattached? Gender norms would support that men are a rather emotionless breed, but I find it hard to believe that ALL men want their women to be such adjectives. In a college environment, I believe love is more like a needle in a haystack of bootycalls. But just like any treasure worth finding, buried under the haystack are the smart, somewhat sensitive, cute nerd-herds that walk around campus, to which we do not glance twice. We, as the beauties that we are, do not glance twice, because they’re either “too poor, too fat, or too nice” – yes, the N word. Nice is unattractive and overlooked by many, but why? Do we give ourselves the morning after blues? Do we avoid the nice yet naively hope for the best?
Since no emotional attachment is seemingly second nature to the jocks on campus, why can’t we women do the same? As Carrie said, in the episode that started it all, “I felt powerful, potent, and incredibly alive,” right after she mastered sex like a man [emotionless and carefree].
“Were women really giving up on love and throttling up on power?”
Do I recommend you go out and bring home the hottest gym rat? NO. As much as it may be worth giving him a taste of his own medicine, it will not make you feel any better the next day. We are sensitive, caring beings. What I do recommend is that you do not conform to how you think the stud muffin in your History class would want you to act after your romantic dinner date. The beauty of being a woman is having that fully charged emotional battery. Date outside of your stereotypical type of guy; give the nice guy a chance [yes, I said it]. Find the cutie in the nerd-herd that screams nice, and hold onto him! You are all worthy of a prince charming, don’t settle for the villain.