As a follow up to last week’s article, this week I will be exploring what factors draw us to one another in the aspect of a love relationship, as opposed to what ends them.
Have you ever wondered why you like who you like? What is it about that ONE guy that makes him so much more desirable? I mean, you pass about 900 of them within 10 minutes of walking to class around campus. What is it about that one? Let’s explore, shall we?
1. To begin, you have your “Field of Eligibles,” in psychological terminology. Basically, this is the group of people that you consider to be a candidate for a love relationship. It’s your standard, or your “type.” EVERYONE has a field of eligibles, this does not mean you are shallow or judgmental.
2. The Matching Hypothesis: people seek out others that seem to be on the same level of attractiveness as their own. A lot of time a couple will seem to “match” in terms of what society considers attractive. I mean, if I were dating a supermodel I would feel pretty overwhelmed and intimidated, wouldn’t you? We humans seem to abide by this matching hypothesis because it is the emotionally safer choice.
3. Proximity – 3 parts. Sharing space, Common interest, and the Mere Exposure Effect. When you share a space with someone, you have more opportunity to get to know one another. When you have a common interest, such as a class or job, this brings up more topics to talk about. How much is there to talk about with a total stranger? It’s do-able but a little more tricky. Lastly, when you are exposed to someone more frequently, you tend to like them a bit more. For example, when a song grows on you after multiple times hearing it.
4. Similarity – This pairs back to the matching hypothesis, but is more concerned with interests, personality traits, and characteristics of a person as opposed to plain beauty. Similar people go well together. In my opinion, opposites do NOT attract. Similarity has actually been shown to be fabricated or made up in the mind of some lovers because we value it that much!
I hope you all take away something from this and now realize why you like who you like and the tricky psychological aspect behind this whole love game! Thanks again to “Human Sexuality” by Roger R. Hock, 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.