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Own Your Sexual Activity or Change It?

First off, I’m going to start with a disclaimer. I do not approve of anyone calling a girl a slut simply because of what she is wearing or not wearing, because she is a rape or sexual assault victim, because a person happens to dislike that gir, or even because she likes having casual sex. As I have been on the receiving end of behavior similar to the third, I could never approve of that and that is not what this article is about.

This article is about the term slut and what it means for women. Oxford Dictionaries defines the word slut as “a woman who has many casual sexual partners.” The synonyms include tramp, scarlet woman, hussy, trollop, harlot, tart, and so on and so forth. It’s this that I want to talk about. This is simply a discussion that needs to be had.

I also want to talk about the men who participate in the same behavior and the term that they are called, “man-whores.”

For the past few years, fighting for the rights of women has been a hot button topic. Women want to be treated as equals to men, and though I don’t agree with all the platforms and methods, I do believe it is a noble effort. This movement includes being free to express one’s sexual behavior as they see fit. Men often get applauded for having multiple sex partners and especially for finally losing their virginity. Women on the other hand are instantly called sluts if they even consider participating in casual sex or actually do.

But I think women who participate in this behavior shouldn’t be so upset.

If anything, I think they should own up to it.

If you have many casual sexual partners, you will be called a slut. That’s all there is to it. The true definition hasn’t changed and never will.

If you are not ashamed of the fact that you’re having casual sex, then you shouldn’t be ashamed to be called a slut. Other people’s feelings about the behavior won’t change. It is what it is.

And if being called a slut really does bother you, maybe you need to ask yourself why. I understand if you don’t fall into the category by societal standards, if you’re a virgin or just wore a tight dress, etc. The word doesn’t apply to you, when someone calls you a slut, they are trying to shame you for absolutely nothing. But if you do, then you aren’t being shamed. You’re for the lack of a better way to say it, being defined.

And before you start thinking I support girl-on-girl hate, I think that guys should own being called “man-whores.” This term isn’t pleasant sounding like “Casanova” or “ladies’ man” which glorify such behavior. Man-whore makes it out to be what it is, promiscuity. If a guy’s having tons of sex and doesn’t appreciate being called a man-whore, then he needs to get a clue. If women get called sluts, then men should be called man-whores. Equality goes both ways.

Maybe instead of trying to further normalize casual sex, society should own being sexuality promiscuous and all the terms—the negative connotations, and positive ones—that go with the behavior.

And if you don’t like it, then try to change your behavior not the definition of a word that happens to be harsh.

Once you do that the word no longer apply to you.

Then the focus can be turned to real slut-shaming which really needs to go.

 

Photo credit: 1, 2

Christian is a 2020 UCF graduate and Creative Writing and Legal Studies duel major and an aspiring novelist working on her debut novel. One look at her color-coded closet and it’s obvious why Confessions of a Shopaholic and The Devil Wears Prada are her favorite movies of all time. If she’s not spending all her money on clothes and high heels, she’s probably out buying more books to go on her already overstuffed bookshelf. The women she looks up to most are J.K. Rowling, the queen of all things literary, and Anna Wintour, the queen of all of thing fashion. If she could be a combination of them by the time she’s thirty, she will have proudly hit her peak.
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