On Feb. 14, 2025, Congresswoman Claudia Tenney, seemingly feeling desperate about her lack of a Valentine, introduced the Trump’s Birthday and Flag Day Holiday Establishment Act. The proposal plans to recognize Flag Day combined with President Donald Trump’s birthday as one national holiday to be celebrated on June 14.
Tenney said when introducing the press release that “No modern president has been more pivotal for our country than Donald J. Trump. Just as George Washington’s Birthday is codified as a federal holiday, this bill will add Trump’s Birthday to this list, recognizing him as the founder of America’s Golden Age.”
As John Mulaney famously stated, we don’t have time to unpack all that. However, let’s begin with her use of the word “modern,” obviously implying the establishment of a new historical timeline: B.T. (Before Trump) and A.T. (After Trump). Sure, Lincoln abolished slavery but that just isn’t “modern” enough. It’s so 1863.
Let’s take a look at all the past presidents of our great nation who are either irrelevant or less pivotal than our current Donald J. Trump.
- George washington
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As Tenney insightfully stated, former president Washington’s birthday is recognized as a federal holiday, also known as Presidents Day. Washington may quite literally be the founder of America, but was he the founder of America’s Golden Age? I think not.
- Thomas Jefferson
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Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence, but he never renamed the Gulf of Mexico to the “Gulf of America” and then claimed Feb. 9 as a day to commemorate it because he couldn’t handle that the Super Bowl was stealing his spotlight. If the Gulf of America can have a day, then so should Trump. But not Jefferson of course.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
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FDR may have led the country through the Great Depression and World War II, however, he failed to inform us of the life-saving advice that in the event of a global pandemic, we could stop it by drinking bleach or, even better, injecting it into the bloodstream. If only Roosevelt had thought of that, maybe he too would deserve a day.
- Theodore Roosevelt
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Teddy Roosevelt is renowned for preserving millions of acres of national parks, but that pales in environmental comparison to what Trump did during Puerto Rico’s natural disaster. Hundreds died, thousands were homeless, and many more were without power due to Hurricane Maria, but worse: they didn’t have paper towels. Refusing to idly stand by, while visiting a church, he began tossing paper towels into the air for victims to catch.
True, he may not have splurged for Bounty, but as Trump described them in an interview with Mike Huckabee, they were “beautiful, soft towels. Very good towels.” His heroism for that alone, surely warrants a national holiday if you ask me.
- john f. Kennedy
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JFK was assassinated while en route to deliver a speech promoting national strength, unity, and peace in Dallas. However, Trump took a bullet to the ear during a rally in Pennsylvania where he was promoting…not quite the same thing. Sure, JFK died for our country, but Trump survived for it. He gave true meaning to “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”
From renaming bodies of water to offering advice during a health crisis, Trump’s legacy truly stands apart. Congresswoman Claudia Tenney got one thing right in that shaping our nation, leading us through world wars, and dying preaching peace is all unmodern and meaningless. No past president has reached the pinnacle that Donald J. Trump has so clearly achieved, rendering everything B.T. (Before Trump) completely and entirely irrelevant. Fear not, Tenney, history books will inevitably show that the era of A.T. (After Trump) marks the true dawn of American greatness.