An Open Letter to the Broken Hearted

Hey you.

Yes, you, the one with tears running down your face, questioning where to go from here. You, who made a mistake that changed absolutely everything. You, the one betrayed by the person you thought you could trust the most. You, the brokenhearted.

I know it’s rough. A year ago, I was standing in your shoes, wondering what in the world to do from here. I heard it all. There’s other fish in the sea, I deserve better, he isn’t worth my tears—you name it, I've heard it. And after a year, I can finally say they were right. I know this doesn’t help you right now, but all the things your friends and family are telling you... it's all true. I know you don’t want to hear it right now though, so I’ll try to avoid cliches as much as possible.

Breakups suck. That is just a fact. You question everything you thought you knew about love, life and even yourself. Make sure you have a good support system around you to help you through it all. Friends, family, whoever it may be; find people who you can vent or cry to. They love you. They hate seeing you this way and they will do whatever they can to help you through. Trust them.

The best advice anyone gave to me was to cut off contact with my ex. It took me four months to listen to that advice and for those four months, I was pretty miserable. I knew he was doing fine without me, moving on. Staying in contact gives them the satisfaction of keeping you around until they get used to the idea of the two of you not being a couple anymore. It allows the heartbreaker to adjust, while the heartbroken is still confused and hurt, most of the time with an abundance of unanswered questions. I know it may be one of the hardest things to do, but cutting ties is what helped me more than anything. I thought we could stay friends, but I was wrong. Please, don’t keep hurting. You deserve so much better than that.

The other great advice I received was to write “no send” letters. Don’t give them the satisfaction of knowing you’re still hurting, but I know it may feel better to get your feelings down on paper/text rather than having to say it out loud. Write it down. Keep it to yourself, share it with your friends, post it online (where they can’t see it). Whatever you want. It lets you breathe knowing you’re not keeping all that in your head. It sets you free. Write as many of these as you need. They can be long or short, angry or sad, anything you’re thinking. The main point is to just get it down, don’t keep it pent up.

Just remember above all else, time heals all wounds. I can remember the night of the breakup like it was yesterday, but it doesn’t break my heart anymore when I think about it. Sure, there are spurs of anger or sadness I have towards/about him, even a year later, but that’s okay. I just want you to know that you will be okay. Just take it one day at a time. Eventually, you will look back and see how far you’ve come. You won’t cry at the sound of their name or walking past the location of your first date. You will heal, but give it time.

You are so worthy of love, sweetheart. You have to know that. Whoever hurt you, whatever happened, it’s all shaping you to become a strong individual, moving forward in this world. Keep your head high, breathe, and remember you were incredible before them and you’re just as (if not more) incredible now that they’re gone. You deserve the world, don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t see that.

Much love,

Someone Who Knows You’ll be Okay

Images: Header, 1, 2, 3