Molly on Molly

My name is Molly. I know what you're thinking and yes, it's totally cool having the same name of a popular club drug. Except that I'm not interested in popularity... or clubs... or drugs.

Molly used to be a name associated with dolls, dogs or darling little girls. An innocent name that once doted a warm and fuzzy connotation.

I was given this name 21 years ago. Way before it was the cool thing to pop a pill of the same name and dance in an open field with a bunch of DJ's and people dressed up as rainbow unicorn fairies. (I am not insulting EDM or its beloved festivals. I won't criticize something I don't understand.)

Every time I introduce myself post-drug-Molly phenomenon, I get a much different reaction than I used to back in the day. Nowadays, it's usually tools saying something along the lines of “Oooooh I looooove Molly” or “I've been looking for you all night” with what they think is a clever smirk or wink. (You're actually creepy.)

For future reference, this line doesn't work. At all. It actually catapults you to the top of my “NO. DEFINITE NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.” internal list.

I hate Molly.

I hate what it's done to my beloved name. I hate the influx of songs that include my name but aren't written about me. I hate what it's done to the “music scene”. I hate that it's a defining factor of festival culture. I hate what it does to people.

I hate how it's considered acceptable, casual and cool. News Flash: It is none of those things.

You've probably been told it's the “pure” form of MDMA. As if any form of MDMA is safe.

“Wait, but I know it's pure! I trust my dealer!” Do you understand what you're saying? You. Trust. Your. Drug. Dealer. Your argument is invalid.

Well, since it's synthetic, illegal and unregulated, it's probably not pure and you have no way to know what you're actually taking. According to, www.drugpolicy.org, it's often laced with any number of drugs. You're playing Russian Roulette.

What's your favorite excuse?

It makes you feel alive? You felt different afterward? You connected with the people around you?

Upon hearing about the usage of Molly from friends, endless research and reading from numerous sources I was baffled at the horror stories. Despite popular belief, there ARE risks to taking Molly. Huge risks.

All it takes is one time.

I had the opportunity to chat with a friend with a startling story. Here is an excerpt from our conversation:

 

“I had tried Molly twice before but never with my sister. It was her first time. I was pretty stressed out and just wanted to "escape".

The last thing she asked me before she took it was, "I won't die will I"? I laughed and said, "No, you're going to have a great time."

At around 11 pm we took some. We were happy, excited, dancing, singing, and goofing around. Then something really strange happened. She complained to me that she had a headache and soon after she started projectile vomiting. I was scared but thought it was just a weird reaction and that she would be fine. But after about 15 minutes of throwing up, I knew something was seriously wrong. What came next was the scariest thing in my life.

I asked her if she knew where she was. She shrugged her shoulders and couldn't tell me where she was. We have lived in the same house for 13 years. I immediately knew something was very, very wrong. Then, she started talking very strangely. She thought she was saying complete words but what I heard was jibberish. I told her she wasn't funny and she needed to answer my questions. She continued to speak in sounds that didn't resemble words at all. Then she went silent. She would't say anything. She just stared at me.

I called 911 as soon as she stopped talking to me.

Everyone always asks me, "Weren't you afraid you were going to go to jail?"

My answer to that is, yes. Of course I was scared. But I knew that if I didn't do something my sister was going to die.

The next 24 hours of my life are hours I wish were just a dream.

She spent the next 5 hours in the emergency room. At 10 am she was transferred to the ICU, unconscious. They told me her diagnosis was hyponatremia. This means that her cells were full of water instead of sodium. She was sent to have an MRI and when she returned we were told that she had brain swelling and a brain bleed. She would either die or wake up with permanent brain damage. I was in shock.

How could something I tried twice before do this to my sister? How had I taken it and not been the same way? She was transferred to a different hospital and was admitted to the Neuro ICU.

When I finally got the call that she had woken up, I drove to the hospital as fast as I could. When I opened her door she was awake and talking. Just a few hours before they told me that this was impossible. To this day no one has any medical explanation as to why she woke up completely normal. I am still amazed that she lived and has no permanent brain damage. I was told that had I not called 911 she would have died. 85% of people diagnosed with hyponatremia die.

What's my advice to those that want to try Molly? It is not worth it. Nothing is worth losing your life over. I still have nightmares and bad dreams about that night. What if I wasn't there? What if she did it with someone else? Would they have called 911? I know that life can be stressful and maybe all of your friends say it's fine to try just once. Just ONCE, almost killed my twin sister. Be smart. Make good decisions. Learn from my mistakes.

These stories need to be shared. I'm sick of Molly being glamorized in the media. I'm sick of hearing what a carefree time you can experience on Molly but realizing these carefree people couldn't care less that people have died.

Honestly, this is a no judgment zone. Do whatever tickles your fancy. Float that boat of yours. Whatever your cup of tea is, drink it up. 

Personally, I just think that if you need to take a drug to feel alive I think you're actually missing the point of this whole “living” thing.

Call me old fashioned, I'll call you back when you get a grip on reality. 

I just think some (possibly brutal) honesty needs to happen: that taking Molly isn't actually safe and there's nothing casual about it. A temporary feeling of ecstasy isn't worth potentially ruining or even possibly ending your life. You've got much better things ahead for you.