It must be springtime again because new relationship statuses are blooming like onions at Outback Steakhouse - or like daisies, those too. Maybe love is in the air. According to an MA Interactive report in 2010, of the 106,394,300 Facebook users over 18 years old, 12.32% were listed as “In a relationship,” 2.66% were “Engaged,” and 28.91% were “Married.” The numbers are constantly fluctuating as human nature takes over in its impulsive manner and flighty disposition, but has anyone noticed the stories popping up all over Newfeeds displaying, “Mary Anybody is now in a relationship”?
Love is deserved by all, so by no means should new relationships be put down, but hopefully those going into new ones or falling out of old ones (or not so old ones) are doing so with careful thought and caution. Heartbreak is one mean mofo.
Even if you’re not tied to another or suddenly untying yourself, you all listen to music, right? Music is that universal language that makes Love a little more comprehensible. There are probably more love songs than butterflies in the world, some of which we should probably take a listen to for some pretty important lessons. Who knew you could listen to music AND get great relationship advice? Although there is a disclaimer for this list; jokes will be cracked. Watch out for joke yolk.
“Just Say Yes” by Snow Patrol
Just say yes, just say there’s nothin’ holdin’ you back
It’s not a test, nor a trick of the mind
Starting out a little light, everyone likes at least one Snow Patrol song. There are times when we are presented with a chance at love or whatever comes before it, and we cannot always stand back too afraid to try. It’s always good to be cautious and aware of factors that could lead to either party getting hurt. However, Love will only meet you halfway (right at the borderline – maybe).
“One Week” by Bare Naked Ladies
It’ll still be two days till we say we’re sorry
I posted the video with the lyrics because, girls, if you want to hear the whole song you’re going to need them for the verses. The progression of this song is hilarious. This guy and girl fight and go through a ritual where it’ll still be two days till they say they’re sorry. Fighting is bound to happen in a relationship you’ve given a longer chunk of time to. No relationship is ever perfect, but there’s not too much harm in writing a funny song about it.
“Bust Your Windows” by Jazmine Sullivan
You broke my heart, so I broke your car
You caused me pain, so I did the same
Even though what you did to me was so much worse
I had to do something to make you hurt
Well, yeah, don’t cheat because you’ll get your windows busted out by Jazmine Sullivan. As Sullivan mentions, “it didn’t mend [her] broken heart, [she’ll] probably always have these ugly scars.” So vandalism is only a temporary remedy for betrayal. Move on until you find someone who will be true to you. Your happiness is the greatest revenge against the jerk that cheated on you.
“Funky Tonight” by John Butler Trio
The way you walk, talk, move, yea
Girl you get me high as a kite
So get right over here and let’s get funky tonight
What’s your name? Let’s go back to where we first met
Back in 1999 appreciate before you knew I was yours
And you mine
This song comes from one talented Australian with a sure handle on life. In this song, he and his wife are fighting, so he tells her to just pretend like they’re back to when they first met, before they even had a fight. John Butler’s got a great idea: instead of fighting with your significant other, just role play – or time travel – whatever works.
“Talk to Me” by Joni Mitchell
You could talk like a fool I'd listen
You could talk like a sage
Anyway the best of my mind
All goes down on the strings and the page
That mind picks up all these pictures
It still gets my feet up to dance
Even though it's covered with keloids
From the "slings and arrows of outrageous romance"
I stole that from Willy the Shake
You know - "Neither a borrower nor a lender be"
Romeo, Romeo talk to me
For you girls who love Indie and Folk, you must check out Joni Mitchell. A true master of words, Mitchell didn’t have Facebook statuses to vent about a man’s inability to respond, so she wrote one lyrically clever song. If you’re currently corresponding with a dude you care about and he shows he cares for you in person, maybe he isn’t texting you back because he’s doing homework or watching a movie, or his phone died. Many times there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for why he isn’t getting back to you, and it does not mean you did something wrong. Some guys aren’t as good at texting as they are at talking. If he doesn’t treat you well or engage with you in a good conversation in person, then you might have a problem. If you can’t establish some open line of communication, you shouldn’t be wasting your time.
“These Boots Were Made For Walking” by Nancy Sinatra
These boots were made for walkin’
That’s just what they’ll do
One of these days these boots are gonna
Walk all over you
If you’re going to walk all over him, might as well put on a pair of sexy boots. However, violence isn’t the answer. The vital lesson to take from this song is to never let a guy continually hurt you. If a man cheats, there is a high chance he will do it again. There are some exceptions to the rule, but generally it’ll happen again. You should never tolerate more than what is reasonable. No one is perfect, but some mistakes should not be easily forgiven. If he isn’t treating you right, don’t stick around. You must never take anything lying down – unless you can flip him over and give it to him even better.
“Oil and Water” by Incubus
Babe, this wouldn't be the first time
It will not be the last time.
There is no parasol that would shelter this weather.
I been smiling with anchors on my shoulders
But I've been dying, dying, dying
Ohh, Ohh, Oh to let them go.
Sometimes you two just won’t mix. We all have chemicals in our brains that activate differently with others, so we can’t expect everyone’s chemicals to react perfectly. They don’t always mix. It’s important to recognize when a relationship is not working out for you. An unhappy relationship is an unhealthy one; they can’t always be fixed. But if you boil the water, cook the pasta, then drizzle it with olive oil and some nice garlic seasonings, you’re good to go.
“Any Man of Mine” by Shania Twain
Any man of mine better be proud of me
Even when I'm ugly he still better love me
And I can be late for a date that's fine
But he better be on time
Shania, girl you got this down. Any man should treat his woman right. A little caring, a little respect, and a little lot of love are three main ingredients to a healthy relationship. Girls, put your foot down. You deserve to be cared about, to be heard, and ultimately accepted for who you are. Acceptance is key. Sure, we get a little crazy sometimes – no relation to the full moon I don’t think, just a menstrual cycle – but we want our men to love us as equally as we love them. Ladies, don’t you ever settle for less.
And you thought I just listened to Electronic Music!