Why is it that we can give someone our all and still be left feeling like we’ll never be enough? I’ve been giving a lot of thought as to why this happens in romantic relationships. Why will we do anything for people in a desperate attempt to get them to stay? And why do we do this when they aren’t willing to give us anything in return?
After reflecting on where things went wrong for myself, I realized that this was happening because I couldn’t see that I deserved better. I thought I had to keep fighting to prove I was enough, instead of just believing I was. This mentality only brought me into toxic relationships. It’s never justified for someone to treat you poorly, but I believe you can do your part to avoid the people who will.
Recognizing the Pattern
I’ve come to realize there have been common themes in my relationships, and I’ve discovered I’m not the only one who’s had these experiences. Everything starts out great, and it feels like there’s an equal amount of respect and excitement. After some time, though, things start to feel one-sided, or like you’re constantly having to pursue the other person. It seems like they’re only there when it’s convenient for them. It’s extremely tempting to keep chasing after this person until you feel like they want you, too. It can be so damaging to your own confidence, and it creates a downward spiral.
This is where things take a turn, and as I’ve learned, it’s ultimately your move.
Seeing Your Worth
It can be challenging to realize you deserve more. We tend to crave validation from others, and when they don’t act like we’re important, we can make the mistake of believing them. We fail to realize that much of the power is actually in our hands. You must prioritize yourself, and other people will do the same. When you see that you should set higher standards for yourself, people will understand that you’re not going to settle for less. Your time is valuable and should never be wasted on anyone who’s going to put you on the back burner.
Accepting Nothing but the Best
You don’t need to play hard to get, or turn it into game. When I say you shouldn’t let someone love you “halfway,” what I mean is that you shouldn’t be waiting around while someone doesn’t have the time or energy to offer you. Never brush off those red flags when they start to appear – it’s about stopping the cycle before it begins. The hard part will always be realizing you can walk away and demand better for yourself.
I believe we can all find someone who will love us completely. Put yourself first, and the rest will follow.