Spooky season is in full swing. You survived midterms, or you’re trying to. Mercury is no longer in retrograde. You can finally take a breath as you’ve sort of gotten the swing of your classes. That is until you check the calendar and realize Halloween is six days away. Now, depending on how much free time you have, here is a prepared guide of punny, useful last-minute costumes for the fellow procrastinator or those who just don’t care all that much.
- costumes for the Kids At Heart
Less than a week is left until Halloween, and you just don’t feel like putting all that work into a character costume. Do you think I have yellow plaid just laying around? As if! What you need is an easily recognizable character that requires no effort. Cartoon characters are the best for that. Be Remy the Rat with a groutfit and mouse ears with a chef hat. Wear all blue and make a beavertail from cardboard, then you’re a platypus. Add a fedora and you’re PERRY THE PLATYPUS! If you need your trusty backpack that night, be Dora in a pink top and orange shorts. Everyone will know exactly who you are, and you got to make minimal trips to the store.
- for the sweet tooths
Since spooky season started, you’ve been more excited about the candy than the costumes. In fact, you didn’t realize Halloween was five days away until you noticed all the candy was disappearing from the store. Now you’re panicking because you never planned out a costume. Lean into your sweet tooth and be a bag of jelly beans! Take two clear plastic trash bags, and fill them up with assorted colored water balloons — minus the water — to act as the jelly beans. Tie the trash bags around yourself with a ribbon, and print and attach a jelly belly sign or any other favorite jelly bean brand of yours. Now you’ve got the sweetest costume at the party.
- Hallelujah! A costume idea
You’ve been tearing apart your closet and you have nothing that you can make a costume out of. Three days until Halloween and nothing to wear. Accessorize for your costume instead. Grab your umbrella and get photos of your celebrity crushes, your boyfriend or even your exes if you’re feeling crazy. Have them coming down like rain from the umbrella with either tape or yarn. The forecast says it’s raining men this Halloween. You can also do this with pictures of cats and dogs.
- Happy Halloween ya filthy party animals
Your friends want to dress up together, but there are three days left until Halloween. Your girl gang wants to be “sexy” something, but sexy cats? That’s basic. Not even a sexy mouse is original enough. Going along with the animal theme, instead of being “sexy,” why not be a party animal? Buy some cat ears, pull out your free Chick-fil-A cow shirt or sharpen your makeup skills to draw a deer nose and white spots AND THEN go to Dollar Tree for some party hats. Alas, go crazy, go stupid, you party animals.
- When You’re Having an identity crisis
So you’ve been invited to a party that you really want to go to, but you don’t know anybody. You’re open to mingling and socializing, but what’s a unique costume that you can throw together with TWO days left until Halloween? Being an identity thief. Get yourself all black clothing — and maybe a black beanie, eye mask and gloves, if you’re feeling extra. Most importantly, head to the office supply store for Hello, My Name Is stickers, and don’t forget a black sharpie as you head to your party of choice. You may not know anybody, but you’re about to steal their identities. Have a few name tags filled out, and as you meet people throughout the party, have them write their names and stick it on you. It’s the perfect conversation starter when you ask for someone’s name and steal it.
- For those with a chip on their shoulder
This one is for the wallflowers and the socially awkward introverts. You hate parties. You don’t socialize, you observe. Heck, you stick to the snacks table — always munching on chips. You might even say you have a chip on your shoulder. Well, why not make it a reality? Put on your most flattering outfit, get some tape, velcro or any adhesive, and — depending on your chip preference — take a bag of chips from Publix or steal a bag from the party itself and place it on your shoulders.
And there you have it. You survived Halloween. Even with no costume ideas. And hey, maybe next year you’ll think of something ahead of time. But if we’re being honest, we’ll probably all wait until those last six days to figure something out. This time, however, you have five other ideas to put together at the last minute.