“I still think we should be friends,” says the boyfriend (well, now EX) who just took your heart and broke it into pieces. “That’s not possible,” you reply through the tears and mascara running down your face. You’re not entirely right, but you’re not entirely wrong.
Everyone loves to hate the term “Just Friends.” If you’re breaking up, it’s the worst possible thing you can hear. If you’re a guy stuck in the friend zone that is not what you want to hear either. Everyone’s hatred towards this phrase is rightfully so, but each situation is unique and the “Just Friends” phrase might be strangely appropriate.
Situation 1- The Bad Break-Up: I hate to be the bearer of bad news but there is a NEGATIVE chance that this will end up a friendly situation. If there is bad blood there, it just can’t happen. You might as well thank each other for the memories (good or bad) and vow to never speak to each other again.
Situation 2- The Break-Up: There’s a chance, with time that this may happen. You did like this person at one point or another and feelings do change. With time, after the initial hurt and awkwardness fades away, there could be a civil friendship. This could only happen if the tension is no longer there. If that sexual tension is still there, there’s no chance. If it’s an ex you’ve so much as kissed in the past six months, you are not to the friends stage yet. Try again later.
With friendships and the “Just Friends” term, things get sticky. Just remember, every situation is different. So, here we go…
Situation 3- We’re Just Friends, really: You hang out with a particular guy and there are no feelings there what so ever. None. Some ask if is this even possible? Guys always think with the wrong head, there is no way. Wrong. I believe you can be just friends with a guy. But this is just me, and many people don’t believe so. My best friend thinks there is no chance in the world. With a little work, anything is possible.
Situation 4- We’re “just friends”…with feelings: This is where the BGF (Best Guy Friends) can come in. This is also where the one-sided feelings come in. This is where the stickiness comes in. One of you, or both of you, may have feelings that they’re afraid to talk about. This is when things can get awkward. If one of you feels one way and the other just doesn’t, well, we’ve got ourselves a situation. A friendship can either be destroyed, or flourish into something beautiful.
Sometimes, we have to put the situation aside and look at the bigger picture. Your exes are your exes for a reason. They’re an example of what you don’t want in the future. As the queen (self-crowned) of going back to her exes, I firmly believe this. But I also believe that sometimes, being just friends is a good thing if you are strong enough to put all feelings aside.