It's Okay to Leave the Honeymoon Phase & Here's Why

The beginning stages of a relationship are often the most exciting. You and your significant other are getting to know each other and have an undeniable infatuation with each other, which makes for a fun few months. Your relationship is so new and exciting, and you may not even realize how good you have it during this time. Some couples don’t make it past the honeymoon stage because they just are not meant to be. However, some do, and they will experience major changes in their relationship as they adapt to a more serious commitment.

I'm approaching the one year mark with my boyfriend, and I have not been as happy as I am right now since that honeymoon phase. However, I struggled to transition into the comfort phase that I'm in now. The first few months of a relationship are filled with romance and butterflies. I knew I was happy back then, but I didn’t realize how great it was until we left that phase of our relationship. I was always thinking about how much I missed the butterflies that I felt during that part of our relationship—the nerves, excitement and fun of it all.

For a little while, I wondered how we could bring back those feelings. However, it took a long time for me to realize that we couldn’t—and I have learned that this isn't such a bad thing. You may not be able to bring back those feelings of nervousness and excitement, but you can create more meaningful feelings. In the beginning, I would describe my relationship as fun, new and exciting. As I approach the one year mark, I would characterize my relationship as loving, genuine and real. We have so much more depth and meaning to our relationship, which only comes from effort and experience.

It's important to realize that those butterflies are not going to last forever, but, if you want to keep your relationship strong even when the honeymoon phase is over, you have to put in the effort to do so. This means that you and your significant other have to go out of your way to have new experiences together to keep your relationship fresh.

It's easy to fall into a routine where you only spend time together at one of your apartments, only get take out and never go on proper dates, or don’t put the effort in to get dressed up and do something together. These are the things that can dull a relationship. You must also try and keep some sort of spontaneity alive by surprising them, even in the smallest of ways. This can be surprising them with their favorite coffee, sending them a sweet text just because, or planning something for the two of you to do together.

The honeymoon phase is such a great time in a relationship. It's exciting to get to know someone new and lay the foundation of your relationship. But, you have to continue to build your relationship even when the butterflies are not as prominent. I have learned that even when it feels like you may not be able to get that excitement back, with effort, you can. It gets even better than you ever thought it could.

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