Empowering women have been creating and progressing social change since the dawn of time. There has been hard work and a valiant effort put forth in the goal of feminism. Recently, with the Internet setting a foundation into our future, we have been able to spread the news of change, from Dawn Braid’s recent job opportunity, to Simone Manuel’s incredible and history-making race, to being seen as imperfect and human on Broad City. These are all milestones we can celebrate as women.
However, I cannot manage to hide my cringe every time I see a sexist joke on Facebook. And the cringe grows deeper whenever I see it “liked” or even commented on by other women. While it is out of my control, it is still something that affects me.
I want to preface by saying that if you can take a step back as a woman, read that joke, hear it in your head and laugh, more power to you. I do not want to condemn those who truly just appeal to that comedy. But there are some women out there who feel conditioned to laugh or make a remark. Who really in their heads think, “Wow, is this what people really think of my sex? Is this what people really think of me?” I know that these women exist, because I was one of them. Now, I can only see these jokes for their potential danger and detriment to fellow women. Here’s why.
Let’s talk about normalization.
Normalization
Social sciences have graced us with countless hours of research, developing into theories that we can now apply to everyday life. I can confidently say that I use an aspect of either psychology or sociology every day.
A surface level definition of normalization is the “act or process of normalizing.” This refers to the process of embedding things into our everyday life until they become routine. The process begins by first being introduced to the information, performing a routine with it, and eventually pursuing that routine, until it is fully integrated with everyday life, so much so that it can almost go unnoticed.
Consider the analogy of transitioning from semester to semester. Every August, January, or June, you start a new schedule. You practice it until it is routine. Until eventually, you realize that you do not even know how or when you got into your car, but you did realize that you forgot to put on pants in the process.
This is a universal method, and can occur with almost every cultural phenomenon. Now, it is totally normal to hear the word “lit” in almost every conversation. Or, it is OK to take a kid’s lunch money because he has funny glasses. Or, it is OK to be harassed by tacky, sexist jokes on Facebook.
But the tricky thing about normalization is that it never has an ending point. Jokes can stop becoming jokes, and start to be what a person actually thinks about women. And these jokes can become even more derogatory, or even worse, violent.
Once I became aware of this, I wanted to distance myself from people who relied on these jokes as their foundation for their personality and humor. I want to let women know that this change is possible. I live with 3 men, and they have never felt the need to make a sexist joke to me, around me, or at all. When in a family setting, in the rare occurrence that it is even brought up, I politely and slyly change the subject. There is a way to do this without feeling like you are asking for too much.
I want to make it known that you do not have to associate yourself with those jokes if you do not want to. And if this challenge confronts you head on, remember all of those women above who are fighting for social change.
Oh, and the guy who inspired me to write this article, whose sexist joke I saw in the first place, I blocked his woman-hating, Islamaphobic a**.