Growing pains come with the transition into adulthood, with perhaps one of the most significant obstacles for a young adult being the uncertainty of trusting their ability to create their own lives.
As college students entering adulthood, many of us still feel young, nowhere close to what you would call an adult. We seek constant guidance on what paths are realistic and who we should strive to be. And often, during our strange transition from a graduating 18-year-old to an adult making their own way in the world, we can mistake some guidance for overbearing outside expectations.
We may be told by people close to us or even society in general that what we want for our lives is naive, unrealistic, or a child’s dream. We may become accustomed to being measured by certain timelines or beliefs about the future we’re supposed to be creating for ourselves. But only one person is living your life, and that person is you.
And when did we forget that we are capable of creating any life we choose? We need only trust in our ability to attain it and use guidance productively, rather than allow outside influence to dictate our lives.
I was recently reminded of this fact by close friends of mine who got married last month. These friends were young when they got married, and even younger when they decided this marriage was what they wanted. I recall them telling me a year ago about their plans and experiencing firsthand some of the backlash they received for their decision.
Their choice went against society’s flawed expectations and even some of the expectations of those closest to them, including myself at first. But over the course of a year, especially when standing up at the altar as a bridesmaid at their beautiful wedding, I realized their story was not only inspirational but also contained a vital life lesson.
We are not here solely to live our lives for other people, to be cogs in the machine that is society, and follow its regimen perfectly. We need to stop measuring ourselves by timelines that we didn’t create and trust ourselves to choose what is right for us, even if it isn’t always the popular choice.
In their case, they chose to commit to love. They did everything in their power to follow through with this commitment and make a life together a reality as soon as possible. They turned the other cheek to outside influences seeking to stir doubt and fear about their decision, and instead turned to productive guidance from those around them who are there to offer support and helpful advice.
They followed their hearts and trusted their abilities to create their life together. Their courage is a testament to the capability we all have to live our lives to the fullest.
Whether it’s love, education, a career, a dream, or anything you can think of, it is never too soon to find out what matters to you, regardless of outside influence. I’m endlessly grateful to my friends for teaching me that.
Guidance is always there to keep you level-headed, safe, and informed, but it isn’t there to dictate your choices or go against what you believe in. As we continue to pave our own paths, remember that only you can decide what is right for you. The less you allow judgment and conflicting opinions to sway the ideas and goals placed on your heart, the more likely you are to see how capable you are of achieving the life you dream of.