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I’m An Independent Woman and There Ain’t No Man That Can Change That

I don’t care about boys and that’s okay. Okay, I’m lying… I care a little bit, but I don’t care so much that it’s affecting how I act or how I portray myself. Yes, boys are nice to look at, but it doesn’t mean they have to be the be all end all and control your emotions, your actions and how you sleep at night. I’ve never been someone who has had long-term relationships or dated around a lot and it’s just because I haven’t felt that it’s worth the effort or the pain. I know when the right person comes along, I may change my mind and my opinion, but until then I’m going to do me. Being a female college student isn’t easy, especially when taking at least twelve credits, being involved in a sorority and being a writer for over three online magazines.

I’ve realized that now is the time for me to focus on my career and on bettering myself as a person and if the right man comes along, then that is just fine and dandy. For me personally, I’ve always been someone who is independent in the sense that I like to do things on my own for myself and I’ve never felt that I need someone to reassure me of my self-worth or my abilities. I know I’m a strong woman and that if I want to do something in life I will work hard until I succeed. I know being independent is easier said than done and especially in today’s society, it is constantly being shown in the media that a woman needs a man, that a love story and a happy ending is the most important part of life and that a woman’s sole purpose should be finding a man to raise a child with.

In reality, there is no right or wrong way to live life and to be yourself and if it involves a partner, then so be it. However, the most important part of your life is you and you should always come first and foremost. I have especially realized this is the last few years, in which I have been able to find myself through being alone and learning that I should be confident without a man there to give me compliments or hold my hand when I’m feeling upset. Ever since I was younger, I had a vision of myself living in New York as a successful journalist, happy and content with who I am and at the end of the day, that’s all I really want out of life. 

Being independent and self reliant is not a downfall and it doesn’t make you a stark feminist who should be frowned upon, but it just shows that if you ever are alone, you know how to handle being by yourself and that you know yourself well enough to succeed. Your early twenties is the time to find yourself, to focus on school and academics, to strengthen your drive and character and to most importantly, realize your strengths and the potential you have to shine. Being on your own shows strength of character and once you have fully realized who you are, you will be content with yourself and less worried about finding other people (whether it be for reassurance of your beauty and confidence or for physical comfort). 


Knowing yourself and your worth will only make any relationship that you eventually venture into that much more serious and beneficial and with knowing yourself you can weigh the pros and cons of certain situations. If you are in a scenario that is short of great, you will realize that you deserve better and you will be able to judge the situation effectively and with courage. You will realize what you deserve and that you can still be independent, even when you are with someone and you won’t be reliant on anyone or anything. You can spot red flags more easily and get out of something that will only hurt you in the long run and you can focus on what really matters: succeeding in a profession, bettering your relationships with friends and family and realizing that you are amazing. 



Photo credit: 1, 2, 3, 4

I am a writing and rhetoric major at the University of Central Florida and I really love tacos and pugs (the dog breed). I am a writer for Her Campus UCF and have been writing since I was eight years old :). My great grandfather won the Pulitzer Prize so I have some big shoes to fill.
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