Even if you’re not necessarily a fan of rap music, Drake is clearly a household name. However, the man may have won five Grammy Awards and been nominated for over fifty of them, but unfortunately, Drake is not a genius when it comes to writing poetry.
ICYMI: a couple of months ago in late June, Drake, one of the most acclaimed contemporary rappers of the 21st century, released a book of poetry titled, “Titles Ruin Everything” (I disagree, but sure I guess). It’s interesting, to say the least.
Now, don’t get me wrong: I’m glad that Drake decided to channel his inner Shakespeare and that he wanted to stray outside of his usual musical pursuits in the rap industry. Especially now, it feels like there are more artists than ever who are choosing to venture out and give other creative careers a shot. There are more musicians trying to act, actors trying to make music, and celebrities, from Megan Fox to Lilli Reinhart, releasing “poetry” books. And yes, I put poetry in quotations because Langston Hughes and Edgar Allen Poe are probably sobbing in their graves right now.
Poetry is already so often overlooked for being “hard to understand,” boring, clichéd, etc., and is regarded by some as a dead art form. Drake’s book of poetry drags the work of contemporary poets through the mud. His 168-page collection (168 whole pages… let that sink in) did nothing but remind me that poetry is one of those rare exceptions where I’d rather celebrities just stay in their own lane.
Each page contains a maximum of two lines of what could only function as puns or angsty Instagram captions. Let’s break down just a few of these quotes that genuinely hurt my soul the most (they were just that painful to read):
- “Please go mind the business that pays you minimum wage.”
- “I’m not four you…really starting to put two and two together.”
- “I can’t read the signs, hun. I left my glasses at home.”
Last but not least, my favorite one:
- “You’re not thuggin you’re kidding…one-sided beef is not beef…it’s chicken.”
Truly none of the literature classes I’ve ever taken could have possibly prepared me for this. I don’t know if that even counts as a metaphor.
In short, if you genuinely liked the quotes you read in this article, then you can purchase his book here and read those extremely short stanzas yourself. If you’re looking to read some actual poetry, then do yourself a favor, and maybe don’t include this one in your next Barnes & Noble haul.