Your first year of college can be hard. There are new people to meet, classes to pass, and schedules to juggle— not to mention that you’re finally on your own. Of course, why not make it even more difficult: throw in a long-distance relationship.
We’ve all heard the warnings about getting into a long-distance relationship. You’re constantly being told it’ll never work, and you might even doubt it will yourself. There can be loneliness and jealousy and sometimes a few (alright, a lot) of tears. When it comes to giving up the person you love or trying to make it work, the choice isn’t easy. If you’ve decided to tough it out as I did, here are some tips that might help guide you through that first year.
- Remember the moments that make it all worth it and document them!
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They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but that isn’t always true. It can be easy to forget why you’re doing long-distance, especially if you haven’t been able to see your partner in a while. I quickly learned that looking through photos and videos of us together reminds me of why I go through it all. Seeing the smile on my face when I’m with him or even just thinking back to a particular memory instantly picks up my mood. If photos aren’t your thing, try journaling instead. Reading over your own words can help you to realize how you truly feel.
- Find your group of people.
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Putting all of your energy into one person can be dangerously easy, but when that person isn’t there, you quickly realize how foolish that is. Meeting people in your town can make a world of difference. Not only is it healthier to have multiple people to rely on, but it takes pressure off of your partner. No one can be a therapist, a boyfriend/girlfriend and a best friend all at once.
- Make time for your relationship
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What you qualify as quality time together is going to be different for every relationship. Maybe all you need is a call at the end of the day or game pigeon in between classes—perhaps you want to spend Thursday nights watching movies on Skype. Either way, spending time together doesn’t have to be difficult, as long as you’re both on the same page. Setting specific expectations and boundaries will help ensure that both you and your partner’s needs are being met.
- Plan ahead.
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Something that always gets me through the periods of separation is having a date to look forward to. Whether it’s months or weeks away, there’s nothing like the excitement that builds as the countdown gets lower each day. Determining these days also lets you plan ahead. You can request the weekend off of work or take a look at what assignments you should get done before they come to visit. Being stressed out about your responsibilities doesn’t exactly set the right mood for a romantic weekend.
- Communicate!
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The exclamation point probably gave it away, but no tip will serve you better than this one. Communication is the key to maintaining a good relationship. Make sure you’re honest with your partner and establish open lines of communication. Talk about things when you’re upset, listen when they tell you about their day, and make sure they know when you miss them. Doing these things can be the difference between making it or breaking up.
Long-distance relationships are hard, but being with the person you love is usually worth it. That being said, it’s important to be honest with yourself and with your partner; if your relationship is starting to ruin your college experience, it might be time for a break.
Trust your heart—the rest will follow.