Believe it or not, everyone secretly struggles with confidence, no matter how confident they appear on the outside. For most of my teen years, I have been working with low self-esteem, leading me to miss out on a lot of opportunities. Like many others, I never believed I was good enough until I started focusing on building my confidence. Here are a few tips for completing this challenging task that helped me.
- Accept growth Is Not linear
-
One of the biggest misconceptions about confidence is that you can always embody it. This is not true in most experiences. It is quite impossible to be fully confident all the time since, as humans, we do have weaknesses, insecurities, and bad days. One day, you will be confident about something; another day, you’ll feel the opposite about something else that may likely put you back in the self-doubt bubble.
One time, I was doing an editing project that I was not proud of, and my professor showed it to the class. Not only did the class seem unimpressed, but I was not proud of my work either. I told myself that I could do better and that one moment of self-doubt would not continue.
Don’t let moments full of failure and embarrassment dictate who you are as a person. It is completely normal and okay to feel insecure, but it becomes dangerous when you let it control you, preventing you from reaching your true potential. Being confident is not some black-and-white mindset or letting your moments of failure ruin your self-esteem. It is accepting that you will not be perfect.
- Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone
-
I know that you don’t enjoy hearing someone tell you to “get out of your comfort zone,” but it is the first step toward building your confidence journey. Apply for that job, present your ideas to your class, start your own business, be an influencer, or do anything that might seem scary. That might turn into a new career, new connections, or a new perspective on life.
Do it when you’re scared. Do it when you’re full of self-doubt. Do it even when you think you’re not good enough. If I hadn’t spent hours getting out of my comfort zone and searching for opportunities, I wouldn’t be having a part-time job, internship, my dream program at school, or even writing this article right now.
After discovering my potential, I wanted to be more than what I had limited myself to. Now, I am constantly looking for new, challenging stuff to try.
- Surround yourself with The Right People
-
In my opinion, everyone was created with the capability to be confident. Everyone is born with unique ideas, thoughts, and expressions that they are passionate about. That is, until someone makes fun of them and destroys their self-esteem. That’s why it is important to be surrounded by people who are supportive of you and don’t drain your energy and confidence.
I used to surround myself with “friends.” These so-called friends did not believe in me and always made me feel like they felt they were better than me. As if being able to do something that I could not make them superior; this sabotaged my confidence. After I recognized this pattern, I started making different friends who encouraged me, believed in me, and, most importantly, did not try to compete with me.
My advice is to surround yourself with people who can see your potential, want you to succeed, and know you’re not perfect. Ones who know that small bad moments do not define you as a person. Most importantly, surround yourself with people who value you for who you are as a person and not just your accomplishments. What I mean by people, I don’t just mean friends or mates but also partners, bosses, family, and mentors.
- Track Your Accomplishments
-
Tracking my accomplishments is one of the things that keep me going in life. Spend some time with yourself and journal all about your accomplishments in life. It does not have to be something related to school or your career.
I keep a list of all the personal and professional things that I have accomplished. Every time I am working towards a goal that I feel I am not capable of doing, I look at my accomplishments list. I tell myself that, like before, I have to and can go through it. I look at all of the things I never expected to achieve and tell myself that I can do it again.
These non-professional accomplishments can be things like leaving a toxic relationship, developing compassion for yourself and others, finding spirituality, or anything else. Simply remember to appreciate your small accomplishments as much as you appreciate your big ones. You have to start small to achieve the big things.
- Change Your Mindset
-
Instead of constantly comparing your day-one self to another person’s day-twenty. Tell yourself that if that person can do it, you can do it, too. It is normal to feel like you are not good enough after seeing other people’s big accomplishments, but if you turn this feeling from hatred and envy to inspiration, it will be a little easier to keep going.
When you see someone who accomplished something big or challenging like building a successful business. Instead of feeling like a failure, get inspired and tell yourself, “If they can do it, then I can do it too.”
I follow a lot of inspiring women online, and I connect with other successful women in person, too. They keep me inspired and motivated so that one day, I will be on their level.Â
Instead of draining your mental health with self-doubt and envy of others, imagine yourself as someone’s role model. Who do you aspire to be like?
You are the only person who knows who you are. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Remember that you can be someone’s inspiration or role model one day.