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How Helpful are Facebook’s New Post-Breakup Settings?

Facebook is now giving users a chance to choose denial along with the option to deceive others further with some new updates.

The new feature will allow Facebook users to block posts from their ex without actually deleting them as a friend. Posts like relationship updates, statuses about island trips they are going on without you, academic success and pictures of the new, cool people they added to their friend group that you won’t ever meet.

Such a nice thought Facebook, trying to spare us some pain. But Facebook couldn’t have been any more incorrect about what most people want to do on Facebook during a breakup.

Truth is, if you don’t immediately delete your ex, then most likely you are going to play “The Game.” The game where you want to seem like you are “so chill” that you are not even going to delete them, but its just because you still want to be in their loop. So you can be like “umm Greg? Who? Oh yeah he’s probably lost among my hundreds of friends. I didn’t even take the time to delete him. Oh, what is he even up to? Come, on. That’s far from my mind”. But in fact, you have a plan.

We all know you didn’t delete him because you want him to see all the cute guys you’ve been friending since the breakup. And all of your selfies that serve as proof that you have never been happier, showcasing your perfect smile worthy of being featured in a Crest commercial. You know, those pictures you force your BFF or roommate to take just before you go for a night out. Yeah those pictures.

Facebook, don’t give guys the option to block our fierceness as newly single women!

But these are the things we can never admit. We can’t say that we still care about Greg and his stupid opinions. We don’t want to officially delete them, because we still want them to pause on our posts when they scroll through their timelines. To stare and feel some type of feeling.

But, God-forbid they comment with something passive agressive like “oh nice to see you can still smile” or “oh you never dressed like that with me.”

People change, Greg. Get over it.

I mean, at least try to have some dignity and just scroll without commenting. You know, just calmly scroll through like a normal person and oh wow, looks like he got that promotion he’s been working so hard for over the past few months. Oh and looky here, he’s back together with his high school girlfriend. Nice. Just nice. And would you look at that, he surprised her with a trip to Jamaica for her birthday. No problem, no problem, I’m not mad.

But, it is kind of upsetting that he is putting WAY more effort into his relationship with her than he ever did in yours, but whatever.

It’s fine. Really.

Especially if the relationship ended on bad terms, where someone got screwed over and burnt, why would you care to see their updates and trite life observations? You’re only going to get annoyed.

Oh, you wanted to update us on how you’re thinking about transferring, Greg? Well no one cares!

Breakups will put you through a storm of emotions. But do what feels best for you and try to move on.

I, for one do not keep people who I don’t want in my personal life as friends on Facebook. People who disrespected me and refuse to apologize or make things right don’t deserve to be in my life, and I won’t pretend by keeping them as a Facebook friend. Life is too short to be fake. But, it is long enough for you to meet new people who are respectful and worthy of your friendship/love.

So just be a big girl already and unfriend Greg. You both deserve clean breaks and a chance to pursue new dreams and desires. The time you would take obsessing and over analyzing past relationships can be spent investing in your bright, glorious future.

Photo credit: Image 1, Image 2, Image 3, Image 4, Image 5, Image 6, Image 7, Image 8, Image 9, Image 10

Shanelle is pursing an Interdisciplinary degree at UCF with concentrations in Biomedical Sciences and Health Sciences, accompanied by a minor in Magazine Journalism. She has a great love for literature, music and nature, and in her free time she enjoys baking, cooking, painting, knitting, basically creating anything with her hands. But her desire to create and explore is often overcomed by her need for hot tea, naps and Netflix marathons. 
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