I’m 19 years old. I’ve been in serious relationships for 3.5 years. I’ve been sexually active for 2 years. And I have never had an orgasm.
If you’re reading this, chances are that you too haven’t had the opportunity to experience the Big O. Or maybe you have and are just here to rub it in our unfortunate faces. Either way, it’s important to embrace our body’s natural functions, no matter how they treat us.
So what exactly is an orgasm? According to the good old dictionary, it’s a climax of sexual excitement, characterized by feelings of pleasure centered in the genitals and (in men) experienced as an accompaniment to ejaculation. So what does that mean exactly? Well as some like to put it, it’s crossing the finish line after any sexual activity. Often categorized as the “end goal” of sex, it’s the sweet release of all the pent up emotion in the most amazing feeling ever. Or so I’ve been told.
Men are the lucky ones when it comes to have that sweet release. More often then not, they are able to finish during sex, roll over, and knock out for a couple hours. During this time, women who didn’t finish, roll their eyes and try to get off in their own means. Women often feel neglected due to the fact that it is harder to achieve an orgasm.
Orgasms can be achieved through sexual activity with partners, as well as masturbation. Yet in my personal experience, some guys think that if they are unable to make their partner finish, “girls can just get themselves off through masturbation.” This is true for many, and allows both guys and girls to experience what an orgasm feels like.
But then there’s me. Sexually frustrated at the fact that an orgasm has never been achieved with a partner OR alone. No matter how hard I try. It’s especially difficult during this age, because we are all sex crazed young adults hanging out with other sex crazed young adults, bonding over any and all sex crazed stories. I can’t help but hurt to feel left out from one of the most important sexual activities out there.
So I’m curious, as anyone would be about something they’ve never experienced. I feel like I’m so left out because I’ve never gotten to experience what is described as such a sweet sensation. I’ve even read articles about people who’ve never experienced an orgasm their whole life, and I’m silently praying that that wont happen to me.
It’s especially hard being in a committed relationship, and telling the person that you love that they just won’t be able to make it happen. Its frustrating for me, it’s frustrating for him, it’s frustrating for all the friends I complain to about this. Yet sometimes the best things in life take time.
Yeah, having an orgasm shouldn’t be the most important part of any sexual activity. It should be all about enjoying what you’re doing with your partner. Yet it can’t help but linger over my head like a storm cloud every time I try to get it on.
Although it is super unfair that guys have the luxury of getting off in the most simple way possible (this is why we need feminism), us girls will have our time to shine! Fortunately, we are still young, and there are thousands of girls out there who are in the same boat, and one of them might even be you. We are not broken, we are just taking our good old time to make sure that that first orgasm is one of the greatest of all times, because the best things come (ha) to those who wait.