From The Girl Who Always Has A Boyfriend

I am the type of girl that a lot of girls make fun of.  I am the type that always seems to have a boyfriend.

Contrary to the popular belief that women are only judged if they prefer multiple and frequent partners, girls like me are shamed by fellow girls all the time.  Rooted in others’ insecurities, we are believed to be dependent on boys and uncomfortable being alone. We get called names like hoes because we always seem to be talking to some guy or another.  People say we rely on boys for confidence, but I know myself, and none of those accusations are true.  

I prefer meaningful interaction to hookups, and I shouldn’t be shamed for attracting long term partners instead of early morning company (not that that type of person should be shamed, either).

I don’t see it as a bad thing that the guys I talk to want to continue communication with me after the first date. In fact, I see that as a compliment.

Just because it seems to you that I am always in a relationship doesn’t have any effect whatsoever on my independence either. I still do things by myself.  I try not rely on anyone too much, which means my friends, my family and my partner. But don’t get me wrong, it’s really nice to have someone in your corner that will help you out whenever and with whatever, as well. I am not dependent on anyone for anything.

I am also comfortable being alone because I am confident I can do things for myself.  I don’t gain confidence because boys like me.  I gained confidence when I realised no one else has to love me except me. Now I’m not saying that someone who cares for and supports you wouldn’t give you that extra bode of confidence, but I don’t see how that could be considered a thing worth judging another girl over.

But girls shouldn’t judge other girls for dumb things like what type of person they are because that kind of thing is out of our control.  Girls shouldn’t judge girls at all, if you ask me.  We were all made differently.  What works for me, doesn’t always work for my friend.  Just because I like having steady boyfriends doesn’t mean I should be looked upon any differently than those who don’t like having boyfriends at all, or those who like having girlfriends, or being just friends, or strictly one night stands. If we could all just get over our own insecurities and the fact that we were made different and we like different things, the world would be a much less hostile place.

So next time I break up with someone and you throw that back handed “oh, you’ll have another one in no time,” which is somehow supposed to make me feel better, think about how I’ve never judged you for any of your decisions.  Understand that even though I am always with a guy, those are my preferences and I don’t deserve to be judged for my disposition.  I will not change any time soon so it would be easiest for it to be accepted and to move along.

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