In most circumstances, it is strongly discouraged to climb aboard a large van and let strangers harvest fluids from your body in exchange for some movie tickets and a cookie. But not at UCF.
Several days a week, the nonprofit group OneBlood sends a mobile blood donation center called the “Big Red Bus” to UCF’s campus, where students can climb aboard and donate blood to supply local hospitals. Since 2010, UCF has donated over 11,000 pints of blood and impacted the lives of over 33,000 people.
Want to donate blood and support this worthy cause, but also harbor an irrational fear of needles? All you need is one hour of bravery. Last semester, I donated blood for the first time, and here’s a handy step by step process I recommend for all beginners:
Step 1: Lots of pep talks.
Lots of reassuring yourself that it’s just a little, teeny needle and you’re an adult now, goshdarnit. Keep practicing your game face in the mirror.
Step 2: Get to the bus. Start filling out paperwork. Aaaand panic.
Step 3: Remain calm.
You know who probably isn’t afraid to donate blood? Beyoncé. Channel that. Also, side note – how cool would it be if Beyoncé donates blood and people are walking around with a little bit of Queen B in them without even knowing?
Step 4: The first test of bravery – getting your fingertip pricked for the blood sample.
Yes, it’s normal to respond: “OW WHAT THE HECK THAT HURT SO MUCH THIS DOES NOT BODE WELL FOR THE ACTUAL BLOOD-DONATING BIT.”
Step 5: More paperwork.
The nurses give you a medical history questionnaire so extensive and tedious that you actually start looking forward to getting stabbed with a needle, just for a change of scenery. It’s a clever psychological trick on their part, I think.
Step 6: You get in the chair, and it’s almost time.
“Which arm has better veins, left or right?” the nurses ask. If for some reason you don’t spend a lot of time checking out your circulatory system in the mirror, no big deal. They’ll check for you. I personally got an inexplicably large ego boost when the nurse told me I had “wonderful veins” in my right arm.
Step 7: Tension builds. They swab your arm for what seems like 20 minutes.
Step 8: THE STABBING.
Step 9: Don’t look at the needle. Don’t think about the needle. What needle?
Step 10: They give you a little stress ball to squeeze every 10 seconds.
Do not stop squeezing the stress ball. I have no idea what happens if you do stop, but judging from the nurses’ reactions if you zone out and forget for a couple seconds, I’m guessing your arm falls off and puppies everywhere die.
Step 11: The actual blood-extraction-from-body phase takes about 10 minutes. Then you’re done!
They plug you up, give you some free swag and goodies, then send you on your way. Maybe you walked into the bus unsure of yourself, but you walk out feeling like a superstar.
Step 12: Walk around all day with that warm and fuzzy feeling you get after doing something awesome.
Or maybe you’re actually still a little dizzy from losing a pint of fluid… Drink some extra H2O, just in case.