Many of us do not think of it when we are packing our lives into our cars to move away to school, but life continues on in our hometowns even after we leave. It doesn’t matter if you move halfway across the country or a few hours away. Your grandparents, parents, siblings, and other family and friends are still alive and growing every single day that you are away. College is an incredible experience. Leaving the homes we grew up in, the people we grew up with, and all the familiar things we grew to know to tackle the unknown is exciting. I do not regret moving away to college for one second. I would do it again if I were given the choice. But tough times will come, and these moments will be the ones that test us as individuals.
On February 23, 2017, my grandfather was taken to the hospital. On March 23, 2017, he passed away, quietly, with all of his remaining family present – except for me.
College is important. I’m the first person to say that. But family will always be a first priority for me. College may lead me to my future, but family is my past, present, and future. Nothing can top that. So when I got the news that my grandfather was admitted to the hospital on that dreadful Thursday evening, I knew I would have to put school aside and spend as much time back home as I possibly could.
I was able to spend Spring Break and a handful of weekends back home before I lost my grandfather to illness.
College is hard. Assignments do not stop because you are having a hard time in your personal life. Professors cannot change their schedule to accommodate one student that is going through a particularly hard time. It’s not fair, but it’s reality. And sometimes, we have to decide what is more important to us: school or family?
None of us knew that my grandfather would move on from this world on the day or at the time that he did. But I can assure you that if I had known, I would have been holding his hand when he crossed that threshold and left this world behind.
For those of you who have experienced the loss of a loved one: I am here. I am here and I understand your pain. I know what it feels like. As college students, most of us will go through scenarios like this during the years we are studying away at school. These things are inevitable; it’s life. And for those of you who have yet to lose someone dear to you while you are away from home: spend as much time as you can with those you love.
Allow yourself time to grieve. If you want to be alone during this time, then do so. If you want to go home to your family, then try to find the time as soon as possible. It’s extremely hard being away from loved ones during times like these – trust me, I know. Sometimes it is best to be with those you love for comfort, advice, and moving forward.
I love you, abuelo. I like to think that wherever you are, you can read this article or someone can translate it for you into spanish because I know you won’t be able to read it otherwise. You did an exceptional job helping to raise my mother, my brother and me. I’ll never forget you catching baby ducks for me in the backyard, or picking flowers for me from behind your house.
I’ll never forget you.
R.I.P. Armando Calleyro (1923-2017)