A College Senior's Honest Cover Letter

Hey there, potential future employer!

My name is Maddie Hammond, and I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up! Sounds promising, right? Don’t crumple up this letter just yet though! My lack of direction is a result of having way too many interests, talents, and hobbies to pigeonhole myself into one field or industry. Right now I’m just trying to figure life out and pay off my student loans. Nevertheless, it is with great enthusiasm that I apply for your company (refer back to my need to pay off my student loans)!

So what strengths do I bring to this position? Well, I know you’re looking for someone who is proficient in Adobe Creative Suite. Bad news, I’m not! My marketing curriculum does not teach any hard skills, but I’m SUPER GOOD at memorizing PowerPoints five minutes before going to take an exam! You need a good team player? Well that is great! I’ve been in teams. In fact, many group project members have been scared of me in the past because I seem like “the type who gives bad peer evaluations”. They’re not wrong. I have no tolerance for slackers. Or procrastinators. Or people in general really... In reality, I'm a great team member, but my hollow cheek bones and need to meet deadlines don't make me seem soft and cuddly. But what I lack in resting nice face, I make up for with an extensive knowledge of Harry Potter and the ability to recite John Mulaney's entire stand-up repertoire.

My marketing program at school has told me multiple times that I should stop dreaming big, that the only job I’ll get after college is a direct sales job. Even sending this application in is an act of rebellion. In a way, I’m the “bad girl” of the business college, skipping Sales Association and Young Seller’s Club meetings to go run a magazine and direct a pageant. Wild, right? So here’s Crazy Maddie, applying for a non-sales job and hoping that all the weird skills I learned along the way will catch your eye and somehow qualify me for this position. Yes, I am typing this cover letter while wearing a unicorn onesie.

Please take a minute to look over my resume, I hope that it paints a complete picture of me as a creative visionary, rather than as a lost twentysomething trying to find her place in the world. If you like the internet as much as I do, check out my website, maddiehammond.weebly.com. Call me maybe?

XO,

Mads

P.S. Proof of awesome onesie.