Friends are great, I mean Friends aired for 10 years and is almost everyone’s favorite show. They go through your best and worst moments in life with you and you wouldn’t want to spend it with anyone else. That is until something unsettling arises. This can be an issue you have with one or the other over a situation or you guys are just naturally growing apart. Whether it is a temporary timeout or a permanent timeout, it’s perfectly fine to want some space.
It is very normal and understandable to not get along with someone 100% of the time. No matter how compatible the two of you may be you guys are still two different people. If there is somewhat of a riff in the friendship someone has to be mature enough to understand that space is healthy. It saves you from an even bigger argument and from saying things you’ll regret later.
You don’t want to announce a timeout because that can cause a bigger conflict. Slowly fall back and gradually cut off communication. Disconnect with your friend and take time for yourself. Analyze the friendship and ask yourself if the friendship is worth it in the long run. You may realize that the both of you aren’t compatible anymore or grow to have different values and interests. People change and that’s okay. College is where you find yourself and personal growth is not just expected, but encouraged. You may realize that the friendship is actually toxic. That’s when you call a permanent timeout.
If it does get to the point where you realize that the friendship isn’t really what you want, you can decide for yourself how you want to go about it. I recommend keeping the timeout on an ongoing loop. Since you already put your friend on timeout you can easily stay off their radar. They should get the hint after a while. If you want to hear them out before you completely cut all ties you can also contact them and see how it goes. You can always go back to putting them on a permanent timeout if things do not seem to be going well.
Maybe you’ll realize that only a temporary timeout is necessary. The issue can hopefully be worked out after the both of you have cooled off. Call your friend and ask to meet up to talk about it. Confrontation sounds petrifying, but without talking about the problem nothing will get solved. You can only pretend that things are great between you two for so long. If the two of you genuinely want to be friends I’m sure the both of you can work it out. All you needed was some space and as the saying goes, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder.”
If you’re like me, sometimes everyone is on a timeout. It’s not necessarily because there’s an issue or a conflict I have with them. I just need some alone time, which is perfectly normal and very healthy. It’s not being antisocial or mean, it’s caring for your state of mind. When you’re alone you get to take tie for yourself and clear your mind. Marilyn Monroe said it herself: “I restore myself when I’m alone.”
It’s important to understand that all relationships in life go through rough patches. Sometimes they tear the friendship apart and it will hurt, but in the end you will realize it happened for a reason. Sometimes they bring the both of you closer than ever and in the end you will realize that you were always supposed to have this person in your life. Just because there are bumps in the road doesn’t mean the friendship is over. You can always make up and get back to ruling the world together, side by side. Look at Blair and Serena!
Photo credit: Cover photo courtesy of Pixabay, Photo 2