Ever hear of the term ‘chivalry is dead’? So are traditional relationships, or at least what the term traditional used to mean. Welcome to the world of serial flirting, something we’ve all been a victim of, and something we’re all guilty of playing around with. Everyone has that one spinster friend who spends the weekend hooking up with randoms at the bar, taking them home, and consequently regretting it enough to do it all over again the next week. You then have the friend who enjoys “dating”; the quotations are for irony because serial daters don’t know the meaning of the word. For girls, it’s a combination of anticipating free dinners and getting to buy a new outfit to tear off at the end of the night. For guys, it means getting to enjoy the second part of that last sentence. This is a symbiotic relationship at its finest. Finally, you have that friend, or even that good old reflection in the mirror, who enjoys more than just the hooking up or “dating”; their specialty is flirting. Not only do they do it habitually, but they do it well. They’re practiced, experienced, and know exactly what they’re doing given any situation. How exactly would you define flirting on the aforementioned level? In the broadest sense of the word, it’s defined as breaking the friend zone with the intention of going somewhere physically or emotionally. Guys do it to reassure themselves that they’re capable of getting what they want; Girls do it for more reasons than one. But what if you had no intention of taking any responsibility for the flirting you just intentionally ensued?
Ever since I moved to Orlando to come to college, I noticed that college has its ups and downs in the courtship department. This is mostly due to the fact that courtship is a dying art, much like chivalry. Serial flirting is different from regular flirting because it’s done too excessively to be anything but a contact high. Most people do it because they get a rise out of it. Others do it for fun, and a select few do it because they have no idea that they’re even doing it in the first place. The drama that comes from this kind of thing is too annoying to even elaborate on. Platonic relationships are fun until the girls start interrogating her male friends, asking questions like, “What does this text mean?!” and “If I say this will I sound easy?!” My favorite one so far went something like, “It took him 20 minutes to text me back, and I’m assuming he doesn’t care too much.” How about calm down and try not to sound more desperate than you already are? Guys who serial flirt bring out the inner 8th grade love-stricken school girl playing “he loves me, he loves me not” on the way home from school. Girls who flirt, especially with cruel intentions, bring out the shattered, hopeless romantic that guys desperately try to hide during their day-to-day agendas. So, is it safe to say that flirting brings out the worst in people? Or does it allow us to show a side that we wouldn’t normally show?
Flirting might not sound like the biggest issue when you put it into the perspective of the real world, but that’s just fine considering college isn’t the best example of the real world. I’ve been to colleges all over the country; from Florida to New Orleans, to Boston and New York. Anywhere you go has the same basic layout: the safety of campus, the exciting feeling of the bars, clubs and restaurants, and the unique quirks that the city itself has to offer to the college students. It’s all wrapped up conveniently in a bubble that doesn’t allow anything in except for the prevailing feeling of that college town atmosphere and the subtle yet oh so obvious drama that comes from flirting. But like I said before, it may not seem like the biggest issue from the outside looking in, but it sure takes a mental and emotional toll once you put yourself in the shoes of a flirt-a-holic.
If there’s one thing you should take from this lengthy discussion on the pros and cons of flirting, it’s to do it in moderation like you would anything else. Unless of course the other person is totally on board, then by all means have that “in it to win it” mentality and do work. This goes for both guys and girls. It’s college; you don’t have to make it a priority to find Mr. or Mrs. Right if you don’t want to do so. Take everything in stride, especially your dating life. Keep an open mind as you play the field (and I mean that in the best way possible). It might be true what they say: The best things in life come to you when you aren’t looking.