Are you there God? It’s me, Molly.
Thank you for making me tall enough that I can see over most people at general admission concerts. Thanks for listening to me whine about Valentine’s Day last week because it was actually surprisingly lovely. In related news, thanks for chocolate and strawberries. But mostly, chocolate covered strawberries. However, something’s been bothering me for awhile now and I have quite a bit of pent-up anger over this sensitive subject. Brace yourself.
We need to talk about Chris Brown…and why is he still famous?
Okay, I know you’re in the business of forgiveness, but c’mon here. I don’t like him and I’m not exactly sure why people still do? He’s the pits and he is being celebrated and praised and given shiny gold stars at every dang checkpoint of life. I will never grasp the concept that he has a continually growing fan-base and army of devoted followers.
They know he brutally beat a woman until she needed to be hospitalized, right? Do they see his endless homophobic and sexist slurs he’s shamelessly tweeting? How ’bout that time he threw a chair at the Good Morning America window?
“But his music’s so good! He’s an amazing dancer! Such a good performer!” Team Breezy wails in protest! His music may be catchy and he may have the dance skills of a subpar Michael Jackson impersonator, but it’s nothing to call home about. I may idolize a lot of celebrities, but if my beloved Nick Jonas ever called a woman “#bushpig” over Twitter, that would be the bitter end of our glorious unrequited love affair. Call me crazy, but I think a huge part about being a fan is rooting for someone who deserves it.
You’re probably thinking, “Okay Molly, nobody’s perfect. This was YEARS ago. Get a life, psycho.” Maybe I hold grudges. Maybe I’m just freakishly compassionate to the point to where I’m a little too emotionally invested in celebrities’ lives. Whatever. The bottom line is that domestic abuse is not okay by any means. It shouldn’t be easily ignored or forgiven. It shouldn’t be playing the victim in this whole situation. It certainly shouldn’t be getting tattoos of a battered woman on its neck and sitting in the front row at the Grammys.
Oh, speaking of the Grammys. Let’s talk about Frank Ocean for a second.
He is awesome. He had a stellar performance. He won a much-deserved Grammy for Best Urban-Contemporary album. He was warmly celebrated with a standing ovation. The whole crowd was on their feet…except Chris Brown. Because ya’know, I think we all periodically need a little friendly reminder of what a douchebag Chris Brown really is. Bam. That was exhibit #267.
However, there’s also another problem at hand here. Why do awesome girls stick with shady guys?
Rihanna and Chris Brown. Katy Perry and John Mayer. Sandra Bullock and Jesse James. Pretty Little Liars’ Spencer and Toby.
I mean, every girl’s been there. Either a jerky dude just has you wrapped around his finger, or a seemingly nice guy charms his way into your heart and by the time his jerkiness is revealed you’re already swept off your feet. I get it. I’ve been there. I just hate witnessing girls give their hearts to someone who is undoubtedly gonna hurt them. Even if that girl is Rihanna, who will never ever know I even exist.
I just really like her and think she was the absolute loveliest at the Grammys. I may or may not have been listening to “Stay” on repeat for the last week and have been crying actual tears. She’s a goddess and she deserves someone better. I just want us to have a nice girl talk, put “You Don’t Know You’re Beautiful” on repeat and eat some Ben & Jerry’s. I want to reenact the scene from Good Will Hunting where Matt Damon and Robin Williams are man-hugging and Williams just keeps saying “It’s not your fault” while Damon sobs and delivers the best emotional performance I’ve ever seen. It’s not your fault, RiRi.
Now, I wouldn’t hate it if Adele gave Chris Brown a firm talking to and scared him away from award shows until further notice. Or if Usher came along and swept Rihanna off her feet to find love in a hopeless place. Oh, and Drake would definitely take care of her. Just some ideas. Alright. I’m already starting to feel better about this situation. Thanks for this much-needed vent sesh. Peace and blessings.