First of all, just wanted to thank you for a few things. Like being able to find a decent parking spot on campus today, the Aaron Samuels-esque eye candy in my Statistics lab, and air conditioning in general. I’d send you an edible arrangement to show my thanks, but I’m not exactly sure how to go about that.
Anyways, I’ve got a quick question for you.
If Taylor Swift STILL can’t find her Prince Charming, what hope is there for the rest of us?
Granted, T-Swizzle is walking the fine red-carpeted line between serial dater and hopeless romantic. Her constant on-off relationships and cougar tendencies are harder to keep up with than any class I’ve ever taken. In her own words, “I mean, this is just exhausting.” Regardless, every girl wants to be her and every guy wants to date her. This leads me to question that if Hollywood’s hottest commodity can’t keep from getting her heart broken…what does it mean for us real girls? Especially us real girls who are hoping to be able to tie down either a Jonas brother or a professional hockey player.
She may have known they were trouble when they walked in and they may be the reason for the teardrops on her guitar, but she has written many a beautiful love story in her day. Taylor’s covered pretty much covered all the bases and created quite an impressive dating repertoire: bad boy John Mayer, British One Directioner Harry Styles, American royalty Conor Kennedy, pop icon Joe Jonas, studmuffin extraordinaire Jake Gyllenhaal, sharkboy/werewolf Taylor Lautner. If she can’t find true love from that varied crop of winners, it honestly worries me about what I’m going to find in my pool of potential suitors! Even after talking to your friends talking to my friends talking to me, she winds up lying on the cold hard ground…OHHH! TROUBLE, TROUBLE, TROUBLE!
HELP! SOS!
Don’t get me wrong, I’m down for love, but I don’t know how eager I am to date in total T. Swift fashion- someone either 4 years younger or a decade older. Sweet Taylor keeps singing the blues from getting her heart stolen and stomped on by the dreamiest of eligible bachelors. Her heartbreak may provide girls everywhere with songs to blast as they sob and dramatically burn pictures of their exes, but it also leaves us single girls to sigh, “Oh crap. What about me?” Don’t even get me started on her lyrics to “Begin Again”! Her dude doesn’t think she’s funny and tells her he doesn’t like it when she wears heels. I’m almost her height. Am I also damned to a love life of flat shoes and flat relationships? It doesn’t have to be this way, does it?
I know, I’m sure my very own celebrity boo thang is well in the works. You probably just don’t think he’s ready for this jelly. He’s learning how to play guitar first! Taking cooking lessons! Reading books on how to be the perfect husband and father to our future offspring! He’s volunteering at homeless shelters and feeding the hungry! Then he’s going to come drive up in his black Jeep Wrangler wearing flannel and Ray-Ban wayfarers to sweep me off my feet with his wit and charm, and more literally, his tanned biceps. I’ll pull a Swift-winning-any-award-ever shocked face and then gracefully dance off and write love songs that will include his name and gloriousness.
Right? You’ve got my back in this dont’cha, God?
Worst comes to worst, I totally wouldn’t mind dating one of T. Swift’s exes. Just keep that in mind.
photosources: celebrity60.com, popstaronline.com