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9 Signs You’re in a One-Sided Friendship

I’m sure most of us would do anything for our friends. We give them advice, help them at their worst, and root for them at their best. Sometimes we get so caught up in being there for our friend that we don’t realize that we’re not receiving the same treatment back from them. A friendship requires balance like any other healthy relationship. If you’re not sure you’re in a one-sided relationship, then here are some signs:

 

 

1. He or she is doing most of the talking.

Whenever you guys hang out or text your friend is the one that’s talking and making it all about themselves. It’s understandable if your friend is going through a difficult time, but if you find that the conversation is always about them on a daily basis then that is a problem. Not only is it rude to only be interested in yourself and not the other person, but it can also just get annoying. Listening to the same topic or problem over and over again is exhausting, along with providing them with every advice from A to Z and they still talk about it. It seems like you took on the role of a full time therapist instead of a friend.

 

2. They just don’t seem to care.

In the times you share your troubles and/or accomplishments they don’t seem to care. This so-called friend just brushes off your problems and/or they don’t seem to be happy for your successes. It can either come from jealousy or they are too interested in their own lives that they couldn’t care less about your own. When you help your friend through their issues and you cheer them on through their successes, it’s only natural to want to receive that same support.

 

3. They only call you for favors.

These friends are the ones that do not initiate the conversation unless they need a favor. A friend is supposed to bring happiness in your life. Instead of having a smile on your face when you see their name pop up on your phone you automatically feel stressed out. Doing favors for your friend is obviously a nice thing, but they shouldn’t ask you every time you talk and they should also repay the favor.

 

4. They always “borrow” but never return.

This habit of taking things and never giving it back is irritating. It is as if they do not know the definition of the word “borrow” and it gets annoying when you have to constantly ask and remind them to give back your property. Somehow they make it awkward if you ask for your things back. They make it seem as if you are accusing them of something. If you own it, then there is no reason you or your friend should feel awkward or offended when you ask for it back.

 

5. You’re the one that is always making the plans.

If you are the one constantly making plans to hang out and they seldom do, then this means you are more devoted to your friendship than your friend. You shouldn’t be the only one who wants to make plans to hang out. It should be a balance between the both of you and if you were truly friends it shouldn’t be that hard.

 

6. You only do what they want to do.

This so-called friend only wants to do the things that they want to do. It’s fine when you both are interested in doing the same thing, but when you suggest to do something that they don’t seem to be interested in they always decline. Even though they did not want to do the things that you like to do they fully expect you to do the things that they like to do. In some situations, they agree to do the thing you would like to do only to change your plans altogether while the both of you are hanging out.

 

7. They take advantage of your generosity.

Let’s say that the two of you went to the movies once and you were generous enough to pay for their ticket or their food. Now every time you go to the movies he or she looks at you to see if you offer to pay for them. Sometimes they even outright ask if you “want” to pay for them since you’re so generous or they ask if you could pay for them one more time even though they already said that several times before.

 

8. You can’t depend on them.

They either show up late for something or they bail at the last minute. You know that there will be some excuse before you even get the chance to ask them to hang out or help you out with something.

 

9. You’re expected to put them first at all times.

When you’re drowning in work and school related things it is understandable that your schedule is too full to even think about hanging out with your friend. After telling your friend that you’re too busy to hang out they should understand. If for some reason they get upset and expect you to clear your schedule for them that is definitely unacceptable. He or she should not be pressuring you to do the wrong thing and drop everything that’s important in your life. Especially if you know that they would most definitely not do the same for you. A true friend would encourage you to get your things done like the awesome girl boss that you are.

 

In all honesty, if you have a feeling that you’re giving more than you’re receiving you are most likely in a one-sided friendship. The best thing you can do is to either confront your friend if you want to fix the relationship, or distance yourself if you feel like you have to let them go. Find someone as awesome as you that can give you the same treatment back. College is the perfect place to find people who are social and share the same interests. Most college students are also open-minded and want to try new things. There is always something better out there for a person that puts out love and positivity in the universe because it will come back to you.

 

Photo credit: Cover photo, Gif 1, Gif 2, Gif 3, Gif 4, Gif 5

Melanie Ararat is a sophomore at the University of Central Florida. She is the Marketing and Publicity co-director for Her Campus UCF. She is majoring in journalism and minoring in political science. Writing has always been her passion since she could literally pick up a pencil (they were just scribbles, but it still counts). You can follow her on Instagram and Twitter @melanie_ararat where she posts things that make it seem like she has a life outside of writing and binge watching shows on Netflix.
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