I have never had the best luck in finding good friends. This isn’t me being pessimistic, but just how my life has been. I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way though because my experiences have taught me a lot about how to treat people and how not to.
Here are five important lessons that I have learned on how to generally be a better friend.
- Listen
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The way most friends become closer is by opening up to each other. An important part of opening up to your friend is allowing them to open up as well and actually listening to them! It always helps to try understanding what your friend is telling you, instead of thinking about what you will say next. Focusing on listening to their needs and problems, rather than solely venting about your own is a key part of a friendship. At the end of the day, they are your friend, not your therapist.
- Make Plans
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Spending time with friends is the simplest way to get to know each other better and enjoy quality time. But, it’s important to try to be the friend that initiates making plans, rather than always being the one invited. It’s an easy way to show that you are actually interested or invested in the friendship.
- Positivity
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Being positive and uplifting towards your friends is probably the most feel-good thing about friendship. Never put your friends down, especially not for the sake of a joke. Something that you may find funny might actually hurt the person you are talking to and spreading positivity is the most important thing about being a good friend.
- Problem Solving
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The biggest problems I see within friendships are the number of people who think it’s okay to talk negatively about their friends behind their back. If something your friend is doing truly upsets you, the best way to handle it is to talk to them personally about it instead of other people. And if the problem hasn’t been fixed and is enough to make you constantly hate being around them, it’s probably time to move on.
- Motivation
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Motivate your friends to achieve their goals. Support them through their endeavors, whether it be supporting their own business or simply checking up on them every now and then. Being there for your friends (to the best of your ability) is usually not a difficult gesture and always goes a long way.
Being around people that heighten your spirits is the main goal of all friendships. I am thankful to have people in my life that radiate positive energy and, personally, when I spend time with the people that I am closest to, my overall mood improves.
Remember the saying, “In order to have a great friend, you must first be one.”