Cats can get a bad rap, but as any cat person will tell you, our furry friends are simply misunderstood. Cats aren’t these temperamental, unfriendly assholes they get made out to be…okay, so sometimes they are, but there’s another way to look at it. Cats are really, really good at setting and enforcing personal boundaries. As someone who’s had four cats throughout her life, I can tell you that cats are great for learning how to respect boundaries, but also how to set them. Here are four ways how:
- Petting
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If you’ve ever had a cat — or even ever been around a cat — you know how careful you have to be about where you pet them. Every cat has their own boundaries about who can pet them and where. Some cats will let anyone pet them anywhere, and will even come right up to people for attention, but many other cats have strict boundaries about which areas are acceptable to pet. Anyone who’s tried petting a cat in the wrong place at the wrong time can tell you it’s not a good idea. This is really true for people as well; we all have boundaries for where it’s acceptable for different people to touch us, and even if someone doesn’t understand a particular boundary, it’s important to respect it.
- They’re vocal about their boundaries
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It’s not just that cats have strong boundaries — they’re also loud about enforcing them. If you cross a line with a cat, you can be sure they’ll find some way to let you know. Some cats go straight to biting, while others will place a paw on your hand or bare their teeth. Cats are very firm in their boundaries and they’ll teach you quickly what happens if you don’t respect them. Having cats has taught me a valuable lesson in being vocal about my boundaries. I’m so much better now at being clear and strict about what’s acceptable and what I won’t tolerate.
- Space
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Cats are weird about their personal space. If I haven’t made it clear yet, different cats are going to have different boundaries. So, while some cats are snuggle bugs that love to be around other people or cats, others…not so much. With cats who want their space or even cats who can’t quite tell whether they want to be around others or not, they tend to be very clear in their body language if they want you around. Cats will turn their bodies liquid to get away from a hand they don’t want, and they’ll bite or swat your hand away if you keep trying. They’ll even leave the area if their space isn’t being respected. Cats are incredible practice for respecting introverts’ space boundaries.
- Choices
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If you have a cat, I’m sure you’ve noticed how they hate being put somewhere — even if it’s exactly where they wanted to go. My cat will cry to get up on the sink counter, and as soon as I lift him up there, he jumps back down. Cats like to make their own choices and they get upset if that’s taken from them. Independence is really important to cats, so if there’s something they can do by themselves, they’re going to. Choice and consent are really important boundaries to pay attention to in the people around us, and cats are a great example of how to make and respect those boundaries.
