For two decades (and one year) I’ve been revolving around the sun. In those 21 years of my life, I’ve grown and learned a lot — surpassed many challenges and in turn have amazing memories to last me a lifetime. Since leaving high school and coming to college, experiencing living on my own and becoming a more independent adult, I’ve learned many lessons and acquired information in my three years of college that, if I were to go back in time and tell my younger self these tidbits of information, I would be more mentally prepared. Here’s a list of four pieces of information I would give to my younger self and this new generation.
- Have a few close friendships instead of many surface-level friendships
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It’s better to have a few best friends that you can be your true self around. Having to feel like you have to hide a part of yourself and acting a certain way to fit in with the crowd is not worth it. More likely than not, those people do not care about you as much as you care about them. Think about the people who reach out to you as much as you reach out to them, and then think about all the people who you reach out to but don’t receive reciprocated effort from. Cutting ties with toxic friends and surface-level friendships that deep down you know you won’t see again after graduation is what is key to years-long friendships. Being able to talk freely about yourself, along with any of your interests and hobbies, without fear of being ridiculed is an important aspect in a friendship, along with having friends that love you for who you are.
- It’s okay to not have your life figured out
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During my time in high school and upon my graduation, I had my future planned out — attend university, join a sorority and one to two other organizations (one of those being Her Campus), get over a 3.5 GPA and attend medical school to become a doctor, specifically a radiologist. Since entering college, I’ve changed my major three times — with a fourth switch currently pending. I’m still interested in the medical field, but what specifically I want to pursue has changed a multitude of times. I’m all over the place, and I’m a junior. College and early adulthood will throw lots of curveballs and obstacles at you, some of which you’ll be prepared for, and others not so much. What this time in my life has taught me was to accept that my life plan is constantly changing, you’re not behind and to stop comparing yourself to your friends.
- Live in the Present, not on your phone
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One thing I’ve noticed a lot in my late high school and early college life is that everyone is always on their phones. Trust me, I’m guilty of it, too. Looking back, it makes me think of how many experiences and memories I’ve missed out on — for example, connecting with the people around me, because I’m consumed on my phone. Since COVID-19 and the lockdowns, our main, if not our only, way to connect and communicate with the people we care about is through technology. However, now that mandates are lifting, people are still stuck in the habit of being on their phones. The pandemic has made me realize that life is short, and the people you care about most aren’t going to be here forever. Going forward in my life, I strive to be less consumed by electronics while I’m with close ones or experiencing something new, because the moments we’re living in right now are not going to last forever and life is ever-changing and we never know what is going to be thrown at us next.
- Learn to be more patient
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I’ll admit, I’m not always the most patient person. With the stresses of college and trying to find jobs and internships, I tend to snap and get frustrated at the littlest scenarios. Those feelings of frustration can last and ruin my whole day, and that’s not fair to yourself or to the people around you. Another instance, especially adjusting to new living arrangements, is losing your patience with new roommates and close friends. Not everything is going to happen in your favor, and you need to be ready for that and not lash out at the people around you when things don’t go your way. Those feelings of anger and frustration are momentary, but the words you say and the actions you take will resonate with you and the people around you forever.
I hope this information I’ve learned and acquired through my life so far can help individuals younger than myself going through or about to enter this stage of their life.