It’s that wonderful and dreadful time of year again: Valentine’s Day. You may either be receiving a box of chocolates from your loved one or sadly buying yourself some discount chocolate the day after. Love has never been an easy thing to navigate, especially in a college setting. With so many people having a variety of traits and intentions, it can give you a headache just thinking about it and your confidence may falter. Experiencing this dilemma for myself made me look into an unlikely source: Jane Austen.
For those who aren’t avid readers, Jane Austen was an English author who was well-known for her regency romance novels, notable examples being Pride and Prejudice, Emma, and Persuasion. With this in mind, her books contain interesting anecdotes for going about the business of love. Here are some simple tips for all of the girlbosses who want to have a successful Valentine’s Day this year, from a renowned romance author herself.
- know what you want
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This is a crucial tip to consider for almost anything you do, especially in romance. According to Jane Austen, knowing what you want in a person will allow your search for love to be much clearer and less clouded in doubt. In Persuasion, Anne Elliot, the main heroine, rejects her first lover’s marriage proposal due to her being unsure and allowing others to sway her opinion. When making decisions about relationships, Jane Austen wants you to be confident and certain in your wants.
- make your intentions known
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Of course, there’s a difference between simply attracting the attention of someone and acting completely desperate. Jane Austen has taught us that showing your interest in a potential partner by flirting a bit or throwing out a compliment or two can help move things along at a steady pace. In the case of Jane Bennet in Pride and Prejudice, she didn’t engage with a man who was interested in her, and he ended up leaving the town. While your person of interest may not leave the city simply because you didn’t reciprocate their feelings, it doesn’t hurt to try a bit.
- don’t settle
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Jane Austen wants you to know that one of the worst things you can do is settle for someone simply because you want to feel security and affection. Being a girlboss is about doing things your way to the best of your abilities, and if someone doesn’t meet your standards, don’t even attempt to go for them. A good example of not settling comes from Pride and Prejudice, when Elizabeth Bennet rejects her cousin’s marriage proposal despite his decent fortune and connections. The fact that he was her cousin and she wasn’t interested in him romantically made her ultimate choice clear as day. It may not be as easy to see those options in real life, but evaluating what you want and what you’re willing to give up can help you avoid making drastic decisions.
While these tips may be straightforward and come from fictional stories, they’re ones that can be carried into everyday life, and even help you thrive in areas of romance — a little magical thing that the classics can do, sometimes. If you’ve decided to look for love this year, our girl Jane has a trick or two up her sleeve (or should I say glove?)