With every birthday that comes along, I find myself either dreading it or filled with nostalgia thinking about the past year — there’s absolutely no in-between. I’d always thought of 19 to be such a filler year; I laugh at that thought now. I think I experienced more changes in myself this year than all of middle school combined (and that’s saying a lot, I had like three identity crises in the seventh grade).
- No one cares about what you do.
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While this sounds harsh, I mean it in the most comforting way. In the past, I’ve been so caught up in everyone’s opinion of me that I find myself overthinking the smallest things, such as the way I responded to someone when they complimented me. I’ll go home and think to myself that I’m the absolute worst person to ever exist. As time has gone on, I’ve realized that everyone is so caught up in their own bubble and reflecting on all the ways they embarrassed themselves that day, that they haven’t thought twice about the awkward way you responded to their compliment.
- Don’t take those close to you for granted.
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Even though this sounds like a given, it wasn’t until I was crying in my first apartment at 2 a.m. because I missed my mom when I realized how much I took her for granted.
- Be vulnerable.
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People think it’s cool to be all hard, but it’s not. Be soft, let people in, laugh and cry with your friends, and tell the people you love that you miss them.
- Music can save your life.
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*cough cough* Harry Styles, thank you.
- Just because you are lonely doesn’t mean you are alone.
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If you are feeling lonely, reach out to someone. It’s hard, and I understand just wanting to crawl in your bed and stay there for the next month, but call that friend you miss and invite them to coffee. Please do it.
- Going back to your ex is okay.
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There’s this whole negative stigma around going back to your previous partner, but if this is what’s best for you, do it. But, also respect your friends’ opinions and realize that they may not agree with your decision. A friend doesn’t always have to agree, but they should always want you to be happy. (It’s what you deserve.)
- Putting yourself first doesn’t make you selfish.
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Enough said.
- Self-care is SO important.
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Whatever that looks like to you — drinking a latte, a six-step skincare routine, exercising, painting or taking a bath — remember that you deserve to be taken care of.
- Everyone’s life seems better online.
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Don’t compare your entire life to the bits and pieces you see of everyone else’s on their Instagram. Social media is a highlight reel and while we all know this, it’s very hard to be conscious of this while we’re scrolling. I always catch myself feeling sad when everyone else is out doing things and I’m at home, but what I don’t see is that last week while I was out, they were laying in their bed. It’s all about perspective and learning to not always compare our lives to everyone else’s.
- Romanticize the little things.
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Early mornings, making tea, putting on a movie, lighting a candle in your room, all of it — romanticize the hell out of your life!
- Letters are so underrated.
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People who have sent me random letters — marry me right now.
- There is nothing weak about asking for help.
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Can we please normalize admitting that you’re not okay and are needing help? Everyone needs help at times — it’s what makes us human.
- Compliments really can make someone’s day.
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Think of the last time you were out in public and a stranger just randomly complimented you. How did you feel? I don’t know about you, but I’m a sucker for compliments (that could just be the libra in me). Compliments will always be the way to win my heart.
- It’s okay to not always answer.
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Just because we have such easy access to technology doesn’t mean we have to answer everyone immediately. It’s okay to take some time to yourself, even if that means scrolling through TikTok with 20 unread messages.
- Piercings can make you really happy.
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I’ve wanted my nose pierced since I was literally 12 years old, and ever since I got it, my confidence has increased immensely. If you’re reading this — go get that piercing you really want, you’re gonna look amazing!
- Astrology is amazing.
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Send me your birth chart, ASAP.
- Your version of fun doesn’t have to look like everyone else’s.
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If you’d rather sit and play Animal Crossing all night instead of going to a bar (like me), more power to you. Don’t let anyone ever make you feel bad about it.
- Communication is key.
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I’m the queen of bottling up my feelings, but I’ve learned that all it does is subconsciously allow me to pull away from others without ever addressing the issue in the first place. It’s hard, but tell people how you feel. You deserve to feel at peace with your emotions.
- People will act a certain way — and it has nothing to do with you.
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We’re all just humans trying to deal with our emotions while going through this hectic life. I’ve learned that how someone reacts to a situation typically has nothing to do with you, but rather they are speaking out on their own insecurities, which we all struggle with. Don’t be so hard on yourself, bubs!
- Let nature nurture you.
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Nature has a way of bringing us peace and mindfulness. One of my favorite ways to practice being mindful is by grounding. If you want an easy way to practice grounding, all you have to do is walk outside while barefoot and feel yourself reconnecting with the earth. The electrical charges from the Earth are said to have positive impacts on your body, both physically and mentally.
This year has been a complete mess, but in all the chaos, I’ve discovered more about myself than I would’ve ever thought. I can only imagine what awaits me this coming year, but with any luck, I’ll have 21 new lessons to be learned.