*SPOILER ALERT* If you have not seen the series or read the book, please do not read onward.
13 Reasons Why is a critically acclaimed novel written by Jay Asher and now a wildly popular series on Netflix. It is the most tweeted about Netflix show ever, racking up 3.5 million tweets about the show within the first week that it was released. It’s easy to understand why it’s been such an overnight success: teenage drama, incompetent parents, and an indie soundtrack set in a suburban high school have the makings to share an important message or to miss the mark. I have many mixed opinions about the show. Mainly because I do see its merit in telling the story of a young woman and how many events at the hands of others caused her to end her life. I see how almost all of us can relate to Hannah’s experiences or the experiences of the other characters in the show. Feeling alone, bullied, marginalized for being in the out-crowd, or being misunderstood by your parents. I see that its goal is to cause the audience to reevaluate how we treat others and to realize that everyone is fighting their own battle, so being kind and seeking to understand is the route we should take. I also think that some of the ways the characters were portrayed, the lack of parental and school involvement in the teens’ lives, and how some of the character flaws were not addressed hurt this mission.
Another issue is the dramatism and suspense that seems to drive the plot forward. Every character seems to be sneaking around or hiding something from themselves, the other characters, or their parents. No one wants to be responsible for what Hannah chose to do, so they continue on with her wish to pass on the tapes to each person and not to tell anyone outside the tapes about what is happening. They even go to really dangerous and scary lengths to keep Clay from talking about them, such as driving at over 100 miles an hour without headlights. I think their tactics should not be glorified and should be realized for what they are: fear for how their actions really affected someone and how they may have to pay the consequences for the actions. All of their covering up is ways for them to not hold themselves responsible for their actions. I also understand how the dramatism really helps drive us through each of Hannah’s experiences and the flashback moments show us her perspectives in the moment. It’s a large part of what has made the show so enthralling. The storytelling elements and transitions between past and present are very well done and handled properly. I liked how they incorporated the color changes to denote the change in time and scene as well.
I think the main thing to remember here is that ultimately, 13 Reasons Why is entertainment. It is meant to entertain the viewer and to impose a message and emotions upon us that stir up our own personal experiences in high school and life that relate to the show. It is also a good vehicle for opening up the gates of discussion about the harsh realities of the topics involved, but we should not take it as an official PSA about suicide, rape, assault, or violence or as an example of how we should handle these things. It is more accurately a model of how we should NOT handle these subjects, which is helpful in its own rite.
I greatly disliked how clueless and uninvolved the parents and adults were in the series. I don’t know if this is the prevalent experience among teenagers that they do not speak to their parents or tell them much more detail about their lives than how their classes are but, I didn’t like it. I was fortunate enough to have a very supportive and open mom whom I could always talk to about anything. She is well aware of what goes on in my life because I choose to relay that information to her and therefore she is able to help me in my times of need. If it is the choice of all these teenagers to not communicate with their parents then I see a couple of issues. The first being that the parents and adults have created an environment of judgement and punishment in reaction to behaviors such as Clay’s supposed weed habit, instead of creating one where their child can voice her or his opinions and needs openly. What they’re struggling with or why they are engaging in those behaviors that are seen as delinquent. The parents are literally clueless as to what is going on in all their children’s lives as they go about town threatening, raping, stalking, and bullying their peers. Because, mind you, Jessica is also a victim of sexual assault and not one of her peers who knew of it after the tapes stepped forward to get her help. If a parent knew, they would take action to try to right the wrong. The point here is that if the parents are not open enough to relive what it was like to be a teenager through their child’s eyes, then they’re just not going to be privy to very vital information about what that’s like.
The second issue is that the teens should be going to adults or professionals who can help them through their life issues, but as the series so aptly displayed, the adults, even when they were professional as Mr. Porter or the teachers were, were almost of no help at all to the students and were mostly concerned with the amount of money that the lawsuit was going to cost the school district. They were aware that some of Hannah’s peers were having trouble after her death and they sometimes attempted to reach out but were more probing for details that may lead to lawsuit information that being concerned about their mental and physical health.
Here’s my biggest issue with the series, Hannah expects everyone around her to know what she is going through and how certain events are affecting her. Through her tapes, we hear her often say one thing with her actions, and another in her head about what she actually wanted. In the scene where she is at the back to school party with Clay, they are kissing in Jessica’s bedroom and Hannah starts thinking of all the wrongs that other guys have done her. She fiercely pushes Clay away and tells him to leave multiple times even though she admits that in her head all she wanted was for him to stay with her. This is counterproductive and will make sure that what she really wants and needs will not happen because she is not voicing it. She even expects Mr. Porter to know what really happened to her without giving any concrete details about the event or even who did it to her. I know that Hannah was heavily influenced by the anxiety and depression in her own mind that continued to worsen throughout the events of her life and that this has a large impact on how she was handling and interpretting the treatment of her peers, which could lead to why she pushed Clay away and continually did not ask for help. She also didn’t feel like she could trust anyone enough to receive any help, so she didn’t try to. The point here is that we should be encouraging people to speak up for themselves when they are feeling dark and in need of care and for others to speak up when they see someone else in distress, but first we have to let them know they have someone trustworthy they can come to.
I have a double-sided opinion on the way the final interaction went with Hannah’s school counselor. On the one-hand, I greatly disagree with how Mr. Porter handled the situation. On the other, I see where he could have been trying to follow protocol.
Now, this is very delicate subject matter in that many may not feel comfortable to share details of abuse right away and sometimes even at all. That’s okay, but knowing how difficult it is to prosecute a sexual assailant, especially when alcohol and other drugs are involved, these kinds of details are needed in order to go forward with this kind of case. So, in my opinion, Mr. Porter was not wrong to ask Hannah about what happened that night and for details about the situation, but what he should have realized was that she was not comfortable talking about the details yet. She needed to know that she could trust Mr. Porter and that he cared about her. That’s all that was needed in that moment. He needed to show her care, support, and to show her that she could trust him when she was ready to share more. He went totally wrong in blaming the victim and telling her that her only option was to move on if she didn’t wish to persecute. He also should have never told her that there was nothing he could do. There is always something that can be done to prevent this sort of tragedy. He could have suggested that she stay and elaborate about the other things that were going on in her life, or that he could refer her to a psychologist or someone else who could be of better help to her. What he also should have done was to alert her parents and the appropriate authorities that Hannah was experiencing suicidal thoughts and voicing things that hinted at that level of despair.
I could go on about the implications and impact of this show and how it has garnered such wide acclaim, but in essence it has done its job. It sought to bring to the public’s attention that we are to recognize the signs of someone in trouble, mentally or physically, and to take action by being a friend to them. Reaching out and showing care and compassion. Helping them get the appropriate help from the appropriate resources. It has also entertained us and enthralled us in the throes of Hannah Baker’s short, but eventful life.
Please, if you are worried about yourself or a friend, do not be afraid to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
Photo credit: Liz Shannon Miller at IndieWire , Adam Starkey for Metro.co.uk , Kemmy Oliveira at Duas Leitoras blog