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What’s Your Number?

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCD chapter.
Edited by: Amy Coyle

Your number of sexual partners is always a topic of interest to people.  It is something that is hidden from the view of others, which makes it that much more intriguing.  We all try to figure out people’s number and read into it in order to judge or gain some insight into others.  The first question is:
what’s your number?  The second question is: what does your number convey about you?

At the most elemental level, your number states the amount of partners you have had; however, beyond its simple quantitative value, your number stops there.  It does not describe the depth or circumstances of any relationship, and it does not reflect your character. So really, what does your number convey?

Although it is just one number, other people can interpret it to mean different things.  Your number can represent a lot to one person and not a lot to another person.  For example, many religions believe that sex before marriage is a sin; therefore, they would feel that any number over zero is not just a high number, but an inappropriate and inexcusable number. With the rise in divorce rate, people have rethought ideas about relationships
and sexuality, and being.  It is more recently believed that one should explore different people through dating, intimate actions included, in order to learn what you like, not only in a partner but also to learn what you like sexually.  Everyone should explore their sexuality; through this exploration comes about a confidence and knowledge.  One prominent example of one number meaning different things to different people is when someone compares the same number between a female and a male.  We all know that double standards exist between the sexes, and an individual’s number of sexual partners epitomizes this fact.  One number can label a woman as a promiscuous slut and a man as a glorified sex god.

Generalizations about what your number means cause us to panic.  It is entirely too easy to get swept up in what other people feel is the “correct” number to get serious with someone, to marry someone, or to classify a girl as an extremist good-girl or slut.  Our sex number, along with societal pressures, can both motivate and intimidate our sexual activity. But it is important that you do not allow your fear of what your number symbolizes to drive you to sleep with people you do not care about in order to avoid being labeled a prude.  At the same time, you should not let your fear of what your number symbolizes prevent you from being intimate with someone you do care about because you are afraid that society might label you as a slut.  According to a poll I administered via SurveyMonkey, Davis collegiettes™ have no general consensus on what a girl’s number should be at this age.  Translation: there is no right or wrong number.  Your number is perfect for you.

Your number is something that is personal to you.  There is no need for your number to be shared with anybody, unless you feel completely comfortable.   Only you know all of the information surrounding your sexual partners (or lack thereof); therefore, only you can interpret your number.  Blanket statements of what various numbers mean, such as not finding a husband, being a slut, or being a prude, should not affect your life decisions.  You know what is right for you.  You know who is right for you.  You know when it is right for you.  That is all that matters. Your number is a part of you, but it does not define you.

Rachael Brandt is your typical collegiette. Her free time, you'll find her roaming the CoHo, nourishing her hourly caffeine fix or rocking out at the campus rec center in Zumba class. Rachael has interned at Acosta/Salazar PR firm in Sacramento, CA --working with politicians and interest groups to aide their campaigns. She now spends her days working at the Events and Conferencing Center, in hopes of saving up for the many goodies she hopes to acquire while studying abroad next year. After cultivating an obsession for Her Campus, she opened the UC Davis branch, and now serves as campus correspondant.