How to change your outlook on post-grad life.
Every quarter we inch closer and closer to graduating and claiming adulthood. It always starts as a nice thought, a dream even. Your 20s are supposed to be the time of your life. Great sex, late nights, sweet independence, all amidst the start of your career; it’s supposed to be remarkable. But let’s be honest, Davis has become our home, and it feels like dad’s about to kick us out (thanks, Gary). I’m only a junior, but I’m terrified of losing my safety net; of wasting the chance to make friends; of forfeiting a sense of belonging. Since high school, I’ve dreamt of college, but as soon as I became a freshman, I realized that I didn’t know what was next. I still don’t.
So yeah, it’s easy to get lost in questions like:
- When are you graduating?
- Moving back with parents?
- What about internships?
- Looking at jobs
- New city?
- Apartment?
What’s really after college for you?
If I learned anything these past three years, it’s that it’s okay not to know. It’s only natural to be scared of the unfamiliar, but that’s no excuse to be miserable. Don’t let these familial and societal pressures dictate your self-esteem. I, for one, am very guilty of self-wallowing when I’m anxious; so, I usually end up curling up in bed and crying, defining myself as helpless in the face of the unfamiliar. Please don’t do that (unless it’s one of those days). Instead, interrupt yourself, and break that mindset. The following tips have helped me come to terms with the future. I hope they can help change your outlook on post-grad life too.
- Accept that Success is Subjective:
Everyone grows at their own pace: just because your friend is graduating a year early or is renting a single in a new city, does not mean you need to do the same. Success is subjective, so don’t hurt yourself by constantly comparing yourself to others. Try asking yourself: what does success mean to you?
- Challenge Romantic Expectations:
Personally, the glorified expectations of my 20s are the root causes of my anxiety: I’m scared that I won’t live up to them — I don’t want to fail. But, then I realized how much people romanticize our 20s, and well, youth in general. The truth is, we’re broke, unemployed, and lonely. It’s not going to be easy like a movie; it’s going to be difficult at times, and that’s okay.
- Treat Failure as a Redefinition of your Comfort Zone:
As a high-achiever — grade A teacher’s pet–I know how crippling failure can be, and the unfamiliarity of post-grad life might seem like the perfect catalyst for failure; but, in reality, it fosters personal growth by pushing you out of your comfort zone, by teaching you to accept failure — the future brings fortune in the form of change.
- Appreciate your Accomplishments:
It’s easy to minimize yourself, especially when you feel pressured — college does exactly that. You’ve come this far though. You’re going to graduate, and that’s a major achievement; so, slow down and give yourself credit.
So yeah, it’s okay not to know where you’re headed. Just know that:
- You get to define your own version of success.
- Your 20s will not be easy, but they’re not impossible.
- Your failures are pillars for dreams.
- You deserve self-love.
I don’t know what’s after college for me.
But, even when I feel lost, I have faith in myself. You should too.