You Have to Confront Your Pain to Heal

When you’re hurting, do you feel your pain? Not just tell yourself that you’re hurt, but do you actually​ and ​honestly ​allow​ yourself to feel your pain? The world as we know it teaches us to hide and bury our pain, but we all know what happens when we do that. We explode when the pain gets to a breaking point and it becomes a cycle of everyone spreading their pain to each other, rather than their love.

Ever since I was a child, I was taught that the emotions I felt when I was sad, angry, or hurt were all collectively felt because I was a sensitive child. I carried this belief with me until my early adulthood and found that because I thought I was a sensitive person that my negative emotions were mundane and unnecessarily felt. When in reality, they’re emotions that we feel so that we can grow and more importantly, heal from the pain. Without feeling your pain, you don’t feel anything.

Sad heartbreak robotFor example, when you fall and scrape your knee what’s the first thing you feel? Pain. The pain seems like it won’t go away, and as you clean the blood out of your wound, the pain subsides. It only subsided because you felt that initial pain until it was felt completely, resulting in no more pain. That’s the same thing as feeling emotional pain. It’s a deep, gut wrenching pain that many of us hate feeling. I know for myself, anger is one of those feelings I’m still learning to feel. Normally, I’m a very happy, positive person so when I feel anger it brings out a side that I’m greatly uncomfortable with. I’ll even go to lengths to not allow myself to be angry but by doing so, I remove my human right to just ​feel.

It is a disservice to your well being and development as a human. Humans are meant to grow and learn constantly, even in the most uncomfortable situations. We feel uncomfortable when our state of minds are catalyzed by an emotion that brings our minds out of balance. When that imbalance is felt, we act out on pain. Instead of expressing your pain, you spread your pain to others. For instance, do you remember the last time you blew up at a friend or family member? What made you blow up? I bet it was the fact you held all your emotions inside without allowing them to be expressed. I know that we’re taught and expected, almost obligated to not put out negativity in the world. Letting yourself feel anger and sadness is not putting negativity out in the world. It’s being honest with your feelings and emotions as a person. It validates that you’re allowed to feel emotions that make you human.

It’s more than telling yourself, “I’m hurt.” It’s believing that waiting for it to pass does not equate to healing. It’s confronting the angry version of yourself that makes you uncomfortable. Healing IS uncomfortable. It’s knowing that you can feel pain for as long as you need to and that one day the pain you need to feel has now been felt. From then on, you heal, grow, and become emotionally in tune with yourself. Don’t bottle up your emotions! We’re human and we bleed!The next time you feel lonely, go through terrible heartbreak, or have an argument with your friends or family, please feel your pain and confront that pain. I know you know you’re going to be okay, you hear it every day. But believe it too.