When Family Isn't How You Want It

Family is complicated. Ask any human being on this planet and they could tell you any number of stories about a conflict they've faced with a fellow family member. Family relationships, good or bad, are the ones we have whether we like it or not. Sometimes, it merely means we bicker too frequently with a younger or older sibling or get into a typical teenage argument with a parent.

But sometimes it goes deeper than that. A fight with a sibling turns into a war of words and someone says something that hits too close to home. Parents are never perfect, and children can struggle with seeing them as people with their own faults with which to deal.   

As I've gotten older, my perception of my family has changed drastically from when I was a naive kid. If there's one thing I've learned from watching my parents interact with their siblings and parents, it's that, unfortunately enough, death and injury bring out a person's true colors, and often the worst in people. Siblings fight over inheritance money and belongings after the death of a parent. Responsibilities in taking care of one another get complicated and even avoided entirely which can lead to deep resentment.

I have two younger brothers whom I can no longer call little, as they are both substantially taller than I am. Over the holidays, we watched our parents struggle with their relationships with their siblings and I continually felt obligated to repeatedly tell them both, "Don't you two ever pull sh*t like that when we're adults!"

 They rolled their eyes and nodded each time, but I truly meant it. I never want to get to the day where I am resentful of the two boys I shared a house with for 16 years because, if that day ever came, I would feel like I lost a best friend.

Family is supposed to be there for you always because they're there from the beginning. They're supposed to outlast friends, significant others, and all else that's temporary.

But family is never how you want it.

So, treasure any good relationship you have in your life. It may mean that your mom is your die-hard best friend or your best friend's older sister is your go-to for life advice. Everyone deserves unconditional love from someone, and whether it's your immediate/biological family may not be up to your choosing, so find the people who do treat you like you are their family and who will love you no matter what.

Cover image source: Pexels