Sometime between a group project meltdown and my third iced coffee last Thursday, I looked down at my chipped pale pink nails and realized: this is not who I am anymore.
Three weeks ago, I picked that pink when I was under the impression that lemon water, journaling, and early bedtimes were my current personality. Adorable, I suppose. Delusional? Definitely, but adorable. I cancelled my plans, of course, and walked directly to my safe haven: the nail salon.
Here’s the hard truth. My nail color isn’t a detail. It’s the lead story. It’s my emotional weather report. It’s how I signal to the world (and remind myself) the kind of person I’m trying to be this week. Here’s what each nail color says about me:
Red: Hot Girl Vengeance
These nails aren’t placed here just to be pretty. The color red indicates I’ve hit the height of confidence (or maybe it’s just delusional self-assurance). They might even help me stay composed if I ever bump into someone I’ve mentally filed under ‘friend I never really met and have since let go.‘
Black: Please Don’t Look at Me
Wearing black nails is the emotional equivalent of putting up an “out of order” sign on your forehead. I’m over it, under it, and deeply uninterested in the business of talking. I want to be mysterious, unreadable, and maybe a little too punk for my own good. If I am in a headspace where I am capable of wearing black polish, I have definitely been listening to Lana Del Rey and pretending I am in a noir film. Specifically, with a library scene where I’m drinking black coffee and reading Stephen King novels.
Green: Wellness Core Denial
Nails that are green signify that I viewed a single TikTok video concerning the health of the human gut, which I then interpreted to mean I am now connected to nature. I bought drops of chlorophyll. I journaled for two days. I informed my roommate that I am now “feeling aligned.” I am not feeling much of anything aside from the sensation of the nails themselves. But the nails — made with something called kiwifruit extract — have given me a weird sense of confidence.
Pale Pink: Emotional Support Nail Polish
Pale pink nails indicate that I need a pat on the back. It means I’m trying, and though my efforts feel just a tad shaky, I put them on display and show the soft intentions that my nails embody. I think they look great with my pastel wardrobe, and they also serve as a lovely little friend mascot when I’m insecure.
Chrome: Clean Girl Lies
Smooth-haired, glowy-skinned girls scream chrome nails. But here’s the truth: I chose this color hoping it would give the impression that I have it together, not because I actually do. “Fake it til you make it, queen!” I am three assignments behind but have the appearance of someone who wakes up at 6 AM, stretches, and then tackles the day. And that has to count for something!
Blue: Spiraling But Make It Fun
Blue is for the wild and crazy girls who pretend to be okay with their life, but are actually tweaking out 24/7. These nails say “haha yeah totally!” while I sneakily do some retail therapy and Google, “how to calm down after crying in a Target.” If I choose blue, I may have a crying session when I get home, but that’s okay because, let me tell you, these nails are cutesy and fab.
Final Thoughts
Choosing my nail polish is a deeply personal choice, and for most people, it’s not really a choice at all — that is, insofar as one considers selecting from the standard set of infinite possible colors really a choice. For me, it’s about hues, moods, and even what might be considered color affect, the way a color might make one feel.
And if you ever want to know how I’m doing, don’t ask. Just look at my hands.