This is a very controversial opinion, but I am not a fan of Phil Dunphy. He is one of the main characters on Modern Family (one of my favorite sitcoms) and is viewed as a beloved father and husband. As this is a sitcom, many of these situations are portrayed in a comedic manner. Yet, they can still carry problematic undertones. Despite his fun-loving personality, for me, his faults color him in a negative way. The show has a way of glossing over or overlooking aspects of Phil’s perversion and misogyny.
One instance is when Claire, Haley, and Alex get their periods during the episode “Leap Day” (S3E17). Instead of adequately telling Manny and Luke that menstruation is normal, Phil depicts his wife and daughters as monsters. Phil acts sweet with the boys to try to secretly escape the house so he does not have to be around the “monsters.” He is literally dehumanizing them. Phil even attempts to trick the women by “injuring” his son with fake blood as an excuse to get away. Although I guess, it attempts at being funny as Phil uses over-the-top methods to extract himself from the situation, the joke just made me sympathize with the girls. Throughout the show, it is shown that Phil has the strongest attachment to Luke. Although this is not necessarily problematic, seeing the division between the boys against the girls creates this narrative that Phil is not as fond of his daughters once they grow up. Incidentally, this plan fails and his wife calls him out on his sexist bullshit.
By the end of the episode, Phil is still not really remorseful. When his wife and daughters confront him again, Phil states that they “ganged up on [him].” He puts the blame on them and still does not take accountability for his actions. However, Phil’s family quickly forgives him after he describes that he had been on “an emotional roller coaster” that day: “I’m afraid. I’m mad. I’m mad because I’m afraid, and now I can’t even think straight.” Phil’s description of his feelings throughout the day is reminiscent of the mood swings of women during their periods. Claire, Haley, and Alex take Phil’s monologue as him being able to sympathize and hug him. Be that it may, it is clear by Phil’s surprised face that he does not fully understand why he is forgiven. The bar is so low that his actions are quickly forgotten once he shows any semblance of compassion and sensitivity.
Apart from the singular “Leap Day” episode, there is a long-running gag about Phil being a womanizer. The most prominent bit surrounding Phil is his lust for Gloria (his wife’s stepmother). I understand that Gloria is a very beautiful woman and it is normal to find other people attractive outside of your marriage, but Phil’s inability to reign his thoughts contrasts his “good husband” persona. Not only are the comments disrespectful to Jay (Phil’s father-in-law) and Claire, but they further add to the sexualization of Gloria.
Throughout the show, Gloria tries to prove that she is more than just her body. She’s smart and determined, but other people are biased because of her figure. Phil making unsolicited suggestions is most likely really uncomfortable for Gloria. She even brings it up in “a Last Christmas” (S11E9): “Phil, it’s been years. I can’t pretend I don’t hear those anymore.” For over a decade, Phil has been ogling at Gloria and all the characters just ignore it. Nobody talks about it (both on the show and off). It is really distressing being around someone that blatantly makes sexual declarations at your expense. In “The One That Got Away” (S2E24), Phil even pretends Gloria is his wife just to make his college rival jealous. However, it is not until his rival reveals that he always had a thing for Claire does Phil realize how lucky he is to have married her.
Overall, I am not saying that Phil Dunphy is a particularly horrible person, or that it is bad to have him as your favorite character. However, truthfully, he irritates me. Besides the episodes I listed, there are many other incidents that display Phil in an unsavory light. All the characters have flaws, but my main problem is that Phil seems to be the one that gets away with his. People ignore his comments about Gloria and his interactions with other women. They also do not mention how he undermines Claire in public. Phil is perceived as a goofball and as a naive character, so he is excused for most of his misbehavior. Nevertheless, as Modern Family ended in 2020, Phil Dunphy, as a fictional character, leaves a legacy of a good TV family man.