Lately, a lot of friends I have are recently in new relationships or have started dating. Some have been in relationships for a year or more, and some for a few weeks. The levels vary. The topic of guys came up and then some problematic things were brought up. Afterwards, I started picking up on things people were saying around me more and more on campus and just everywhere. I began to notice that when a girl is in a relationship, people are happy for her, hesitant, and much more. Some people may say things as compliments, some are, but some also hurt.
Here are a few that were the most common:
1. “You’ve changed.”
Ummm for better or worse?
2. “You can do better” or “You’re too good for him”
Well then, thanks for that, but this is another human being you are talking about and they deserve a chance.
3. “You happier now?”
This one seems like a positive thing right? However, it’s not. I might be happier with different company, but please do not make it seem as if a guy makes or breaks my ability to be happy.
4. “Did he buy you that?”
I can buy myself something nice.
5. “You spend too much time with [blank].”
This one seems as if your friends just want attention, but it’s hard because, if you’re just starting to get to know someone, you want to spend time with them which is not a bad thing.
6. “You forgot about us…”
No, no. The effort goes both ways. One new person in someone’s life does not mean no one else exists.
7. “He’s able to deal with you? Or He puts up with you?”
Ouch! Yeah, no…just no
The one that sounds the best is when people look at your relationship and say
“Omgggg you are goalssssss!” However, people do not know the effort and compromises that said couple has gone through.
8. “I feel like I can’t talk to you about my relationship because yours is soooo perfect”
This one is hurtful. Because without having done anything besides being happy in your relationship you have now been distanced.
Hearing these types of statements from other girls can be hard. A relationship is a lot of work, but with remarks and pressure from other people it can get overwhelming. It’s important to be there for our friends and make sure they are happy in their relationships but it’s no one’s job to judge.
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