*Disclaimer: The views displayed in this article are merely for creative purposes. If you are an employer who has stumbled upon this article, I am a very hard worker who would never do any of these things ever.
If you’re a college student, it’s safe to say you’ve probably worked at some point in your life, whether that was one time over the summer or part-time during the school year. Working during the quarter is particularly difficult; you have to somehow find a way to balance work and all of your midterms and papers starting week two, and aren’t finished with them until week ten. No one is on their A game all the time — especially in the midst of so much academic stress — so it’s natural to have the urge to slack off a little at work every now and then. Unless you’re the perfect employee, let’s see how many of these you find yourself guilty of (granted, many of these require internet access).
1. Memes
Whether that be catching up on the latest memes alone, re-looking at your faves, or sharing your highlights with your coworkers, memes have made work (and life) just a little more bearable. I personally had a big Evil Kermit and Dancing Pooh Bear phase. And SpongeBob everything, of course.
2. Playing online games
My favorites include the T-Rex game, Sudoku, and word search puzzles. Sometimes when I’m desperate, I’ll play whatever game is embedded on the Google homepage.
3. Pretending to look busy so your supervisor doesn’t actually make you do anything
Some tried and true methods include: Furrowing your brow as you stare blankly at your computer screen, looking deep in thought as you type random words, pretending to ask your coworker a question that you already know the answer to, and cleaning your workspace and that of others.
4. Making productive plans for when you get home that you absolutely won’t follow through with
“I may be here at work right now but when I get home I WILL go to the gym, finish the homework I’ve been putting off for a week, make a healthy, home-cooked meal, write the next great American novel, and end world hunger.”
5. Thinking about quitting and selling pieces of your body in order to make money
JSYK, the first egg you sell will reap in $8,000 while each egg donated afterwards is worth up to 10k.
6. Refreshing your email every five minutes to check if someone from the outside world is trying to communicate with you
But alas it’s just Forever 21, reminding you about the items you left in your cart with absolutely no intention of actually purchasing.
7. Checking your bank account to see whether or not you can afford to #treatyoself for the 4th time this week
Spoiler alert: you can’t. But you will anyway ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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