Growing up I’ve always encountered this question: “Who is the biggest influence in your life?” From when I’ve applied for volunteering, internships, college applications, or jobs, this question would always pop up. I’d always talk about the various public figures that have inspired me or my parents and their support and unconditional love. For most of us, the most influential people in our life are the people closest to us. Our family, friends, or romantic partner. Now though, my answer is different. The experiences and lessons I’ve encountered in life, especially in college, have helped me grow and mature so much. The most important and influential lessons that I’ve learned in my life have been from the absence of individuals in my life. The people who taught me lessons the hard way by leaving my life. The ones who broke my trust, used me, broke my heart, belittled me, judged me, hated me, etc. They made me experience a lot of pain and push through life, but I turned out stronger than ever, for which I am grateful because without them I wouldn’t be who I am today.
The absence of people in my life has taught me a very important lesson. At the end of the day, the only guarantee that I have in life is that I’ll be there. I will truly always be the only person there for me and I need to put myself first for that reason. Although this mindset doesn’t prevent me from letting people in, it only teaches me that people come and go and that’s okay. We always learn something valuable from these experiences. Regardless, I still have a great environment of supportive family and friends by my side which I have come to value and cherish more than ever.
We don’t meet anyone by accident. There is always some intrinsic reasoning as to why someone enters and exits your life. And no matter how long they stay, sometimes people are only meant to stay for the time being. And that’s one of the hardest realizations we have to face. Our lives up until this moment have been shaped by our past experiences. There are both good and bad things happening. They are both one-time events as well as the routine activities we engage in on a daily basis. For our enjoyment and well-being, they are crucial. To have a happy and fulfilling life, we must comprehend them and how they affect the things we do right now.
So, who has the most impact on me? It’s a straightforward question, but the answer is more difficult because we continue to develop every day. Thus, the response is subject to quick change. Unexpectedly, someone enters your life, and all of a sudden, you begin to view the world differently. That person tells you that it’s okay to start afresh and let people in. You may believe you are an expert on a subject your entire life. Then one day you come to the realization that someone else may have had the most impact on your life. For a lot of us, it’ll constantly change throughout our life while for some of us it’ll be one thing that impacts us. For me though as of right now, the absence of people has had the most impact in my life, jj..and for the self growth and valuable lessons that I’ve learned, I am very grateful.