Do you have social anxiety? Do you have a friend who does? Social anxiety is something that lots of people experience at some point in their lives. It can range from being mild and temporary to severe and chronic. If you don’t suffer from social anxiety but have a friend who does (and you may not know that they do!), the following may help in understanding a few tendencies socially anxious people have. If you do, then you might find this article relatable!
1. Fear of small talk
You absolutely fear (and dread) small talk. You really can’t think of much else to say or ask after, What’s your name? Where are you from? What’s your major? You’re too preoccupied with thinking about what to say next and how the conversation is going—Do I seem interested? How do I even respond to that?—that you don’t even realize you’re not actually listening to what the other person is saying. And when it’s your turn to speak… you have nothing to say. Yikes. Almost every social interaction with an acquaintance or a stranger will be avoided if possible.
2. Being a frequent flaker
You love your friends, but, whenever a group of friends make plans and hits you up, you sometimes would much rather stay at home than go through the effort of social interaction. It’s not because you hate socializing with your friends and their friends, it’s just that you’re afraid you’ll say something wrong, not say enough, or say too much. Accepting invites is easy, but actually committing and following through is a different story. However, you work hard to make plans with friends and follow through, despite your anxiety.
3. Inability to ask for help
You have a hard time asking for help. Even when you have no idea what you’re doing, it just seems easier to struggle and eventually figure it out on your own than to simply ask someone. It seems silly, but asking someone for help just seems like a huge inconvenience for the other person. We have to work extra hard to overcome this challenge and reach out to others when in need of a helping hand.
4. Being intimidated by large groups
It’s not easy for you to speak up in large groups. You want to contribute to the conversation, so you’re constantly trying to think of comments or questions that relate to the topic at hand. However, the people in the group just seem to think faster than you—and similarly—so they end up beating you to it and say almost exactly what you were going to say. Like, seriously? Then the conversation topic changes, so you have to think of things to say again. And the cycle continues.
Basically, everyday interactions require a lot of effort and tend to drain you. By the end of the day, you just need some alone time. However, it’s important to be aware of your anxiety and take necessary measures to ensure your anxiety doesn’t greatly interfere with your daily activities and overall health. Constantly fighting the urge to cancel plans and speaking up in group conversations is a start to overcoming your social anxiety!
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