The start of a new year is always exciting and refreshing as it symbolizes the opportunity to begin with a blank slate. However, that is not the case. In reality, we are still the same people from last year, just hopefully wiser, so we aren’t really starting from scratch. We are bringing the lessons we have learned through heartbreaks, conflicts, breakthroughs, and more from last year into this new year, hoping to have grown into better versions of ourselves.
Personally, last year was a chapter of the book of my life filled with new opportunities, new friendships, positivity, goals achieved, and a new perspective on life. With that being said, it was also filled with hardships, countless stumbles and stand-ups, setbacks, and growth. Last year taught me the true meaning of resilience and strength. The “old me” would have made a bunch of impractical new year resolutions that I would only stick to for the first, maybe second, month of the year. The “new me” (which as mentioned before, is the same me but wiser) decided that this year I didn’t want to make new year resolutions. Instead, I wanted to reflect on the lessons I learned last year in order to be a better person and learn to go with the flow of life. I don’t want to start over, but instead build upon my learning. These are a few lessons that have changed my mentality going into the new year. Maybe they’ll resonate with you and help you find something to carry with you into this new year, too.
- Not everything you lose is a loss.
Last year taught me to change my perspective and mindset on life. I had to learn to take setbacks as redirection. If you change your perspective, you’ll realize that bad things can actually be good things. Some of those events that we consider “bad” could be miracles disguised. Some could be ways of healing, others are guidance, and others are protection.
I heard a lot about the “burnt toast” theory last year. This theory focuses primarily on moments in life when we are late to somewhere we need to be, and everything seems to be going against us. For instance, missing the bus, sleeping through an alarm,or even burning toast are all instances that seem negative. The theory asserts that all of this is supposed to happen in order to protect us from something that is harmful to us, that if things had gone the way we wanted, we may have missed out something greater. This theory applies to the lesson I am trying to share with you. Many times we feel like we lose people, opportunities, events, and so much more. In reality, all of those losses might just lead us to better things in life.
- You are filled with love and deserve nothing less than that.
Harry Styles said it best: “Fill up your own cup, and let them fall in love with the overflow.” Many times, when we are busy trying to dig out love from those that we love, we forget that we embody the love we seek. You also radiate the things you love, the people you love, and the love that surrounds you. Since you are so full of love, don’t settle for anything less. You already have all the love you need, and anything else should be a worthwhile addition.
- Be sunlight!
This lesson comes from the comment “you are too much.” One thing I learned last year is to unapologetically be myself. The hard truth is that you cannot be everyone’s cup of tea. But that’ is’s totally okay because at the same time, not everyone will be your cup of tea.
I also wasted too much time trying to bend parts of me to favor others. Usually, by the end of it, I would feel terrible, as if I was losing my own essence. Every person in your life has an expiration date regarding how long they will be a part of your life, except you. Therefore, be yourself for yourself. Be sensitive, vulnerable, unique, memorable, forgiving, loving, and confident about who you are.
Do whatever makes your soul shine and feel like sunlight, and most importantly, do it for yourself!
- Detachment mindset
Last year taught me to let go of almost everything in my life. I would try my absolute hardest to control every aspect of my life, whether that is friendships, relationships, life events, etc. This, in turn, would lead to a lot of disappointment because the hard truth is that we cannot control many of these things. For example, yes, we can control who we choose to be friends with and we can try to be good friends, but we cannot control how those friends treat us.
I have so many more lessons! Every year, throughout the year, I write the lessons as I learn them on my notes app. This allows me to reflect on them, not only in the moment, but also at the end of the year so that I can go into the new year a little bit wiser. I encourage you to think of this as continuous learning and reflect on your own lessons from last year. Hopefully these lessons can inspire you a little!